Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 148962 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 745(@200wpm)___ 596(@250wpm)___ 497(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 148962 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 745(@200wpm)___ 596(@250wpm)___ 497(@300wpm)
I’m still locked in Romeo’s grip, unable to move, when Angelo looks directly at me, speaking quietly.
“Stay calm, Gabi.”
I blink at him in confusion. “I am calm.”
“No sudden movements,” he says.
I follow his gaze to Romeo, and that’s when it clicks into place.
“He won’t hurt me.”
When I glance up at Angelo, I can see that he isn’t as certain, and something about that breaks my heart. The Vitales shielded me from a lot during those years Romeo was gone. Everyone would give me vague updates, leaving out the darkest details. But I heard bits and pieces of them over that time period. The discussions about his inability to regulate his emotions. The hushed whispers about his suicide attempts.
I remember feeling like someone had ripped my still-beating heart from my chest when I heard that he’d hurt himself. And I know what it did to his parents. I saw the light leave his mother’s eyes, and I’ll never forget her gut-wrenching sobs. They were the external manifestation of how I felt inside.
The entire family was grieving something none of us could really understand, and when he returned, they walked around like they were waiting for him to detonate at any moment. There was no guidebook for what happened to Romeo. None of us knew how to help, and it was an awful feeling.
I knew he’d had explosive outbursts. I’d heard about the times it took all of his brothers to hold him down. But not once, in the entire time I’ve known him, have I ever questioned if he was capable of physically hurting me.
“Romeo.” Angelo reaches out slowly, trying to separate us like he’s approaching a wounded animal.
Romeo’s gaze blackens as it drifts to his brother’s encroaching hand, and I can see this careening out of control.
“Don’t!” I tell him. “Just wait a minute.”
To my surprise, Angelo actually listens to me. But when I reach up to touch Romeo’s face, he takes a step closer.
Ignoring him, I press my fingers to Romeo’s jaw.
“Gabi—” Angelo warns me.
A quiet sound vibrates in my throat, barely audible at first, the ghost of a memory that pulls me back to another time and place. As the melody fills the space between us, I know I’m no longer there alone. Romeo turns his head slowly, his eyes settling on mine as a rough exhalation shudders from his chest. I hum the tune to "I Miss You" by Blink182, the same way he used to do for me.
When the world gets to be too much, Gabi, press your fingers to the back of my hand. I’ll be your anchor.
It wasn’t a platitude. He was there through every overwhelm and every storm for the most formative years of my life. He’d find a way to bring me back when the world got to be too much. Whether it was drawing something for me to focus on, pressing my fingers to his heartbeat, or humming this tune until I fell into rhythm right beside him.
He was my shelter.
And right now, by some small miracle, I’ve become his.
He closes his eyes and starts to hum along until we’re in harmony, and every second that passes slows his breathing and calms his racing heart.
When the song ends, his grip on me loosens, and a different kind of tension settles over him as he searches my eyes.
“Welcome back,” I whisper.
It’s what he always used to say to me. It feels right in the moment.
He looks me over, concern flashing in his eyes as his hands fall away and he takes a step back. It isn’t just Angelo who thought he might accidentally hurt me. Romeo believes it, too.
“Everything’s okay,” Angelo tells him. “Go smoke a blunt. Take a few minutes, then join us for dinner if you want.”
Romeo gives me one last glance, and for a brief moment, I catch a glimpse of the boy I used to know. The quiet, introverted, artsy soul who made the world a safer place for me. And now I can see, he’s still in there somewhere, buried beneath all the barbed wire armor he’s been donning for years.
There will always be a part of me that’s bound to that part of him. It’s impossible to forget how powerful that connection was, and it would be easy to let myself get pulled back in. But the glaring warning bells going off inside me are a reminder that Romeo also holds the power to destroy me. I survived it once, but I can’t do it again.
His behavior today was strange, but it doesn’t mean anything. Even if it did, I can’t go back down that road. I’ve barely managed to pick up the pieces of my pulverized heart and glue them back together. Handing it over to him again would be a suicide mission. I have to remember that and keep my guard up at all costs.