Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 148962 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 745(@200wpm)___ 596(@250wpm)___ 497(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 148962 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 745(@200wpm)___ 596(@250wpm)___ 497(@300wpm)
“Who?” She stiffens beneath me.
“Whoever it is you’ve been using me as a placeholder for.”
“It’s not like that.” The words leave her in a rush.
“Then tell me what it is like.”
“You aren’t a placeholder,” she says. “And he and I aren’t ever going to happen.”
The note of sadness in her voice hits me in the solar plexus.
I fucking hate that she’s thinking of anyone else, and I know without a shadow of a doubt it couldn’t be me.
I’ve been the world’s biggest asshole to her for the last five years. I tormented her at every opportunity, convincing myself if she hated me, she could move on.
Truthfully, though, it didn’t matter whether I was fighting or flirting with her—the sick part of me liked it all.
Any reaction from her fed the craving I tried in vain to kill. But deep down, I knew I’d gone too far.
I hurt her.
I made my presence something she had to endure. And in the end, I was just another person in her life who let her down.
Now, she’s in bed with Eros, offering herself to him instead.
I did this.
But it’s never felt heavier than it does right now.
“Give me a minute.” I pull away and head for the bathroom.
When the door clicks shut behind me, I splash some water on my face and glare at my reflection.
Another intrusive thought echoes through my head.
Smash your skull. Take the glass. Cut your throat.
My gaze drifts to the scar beneath my jaw where I already played that game once, before the orderlies got to me.
They were always fucking up my plans.
My father came to visit after and told me there was a reason I never succeeded. I just had to find it. Then he brought me home and took the only reasons I had left away.
You aren’t good for her.
Not like this.
In my mind, I punch the mirror and shatter it. In reality, I grab a cloth and soak it with warm water before I head back to Gabi.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice wavers as I clean her up.
“You don’t have anything to be sorry for, little shark.” I grab her shorts and slide them back on. “But you should get some rest. It’s late.”
“Are you leaving?”
When I don’t answer her, she sits up and touches the makeshift blindfold. “Can I take this off now?”
“Hang on.” I adjust my throat mic and put my mask and gloves back on. Once they’re in place, I take off her blindfold and smooth out her hair.
“Lie down.”
She does as I ask, even as tears hover at the edges of her eyes. I don’t know who they’re for, and I don’t ask. Part of me wants to stay and tell her everything’s okay, but I’m too fucked up in the head right now.
I grab her stuffed bear and tuck him against her before I cover her over.
“Goodnight, Gabriela.” I brush my fingers over her face one last time.
She nods, forcing a watery smile. “Goodnight.”
9
GABRIELA
At school, the entire campus is buzzing with the news that the search for the missing students has been called off. The reports say they’re presumed dead, but questions still linger.
I try not to think about it, but it feels like everyone I pass is staring at me today. My suspicions are confirmed when I’m walking Beppe between classes, and I scan the quad, noticing two guys leaning against one of the trees. They’re both watching me, and it takes me a minute, but I recognize them as Nate’s friends. I saw them together a few times before he approached me, and they were also at the vigil.
An eerie feeling crawls down my spine as I consider that they knew about Nate’s plans that night.
Julian follows my gaze, frowning when he sees them. Apparently, it’s part of his job description to cast murderous glares at any male who stares my direction. It seems to work because the two guys leave their post and retreat across campus.
Beppe barks, alerting me that we only have a few minutes to get to class, so I scoop him up and secure him in his tote bag.
When I get to the studio, I stop at our assigned cubbies outside to grab some tools from mine. But when I open it, I find a Ghostface plushy waiting for me, along with a note.
For your collection.
-E
I stare at the gift with a stupid smile on my face, but it fades when I remember how last night ended.
Eros asked who I’ve been using him as a placeholder for, and I tried to deny it. But the truth is much messier than that, and I’m starting to realize being casual isn’t as easy as I’d hoped. Especially when he does stuff like this, because it doesn’t feel casual.
It’s confusing, particularly when he tried to warn me away from him to begin with, but now it seems like he wants all of me. I think we’re both crossing lines we never meant to, and I feel guilty for it.