Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 75891 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75891 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
The first time I saw Julius, he was with his mother and sister. I’m not sure even now what it was about him that caught my attention and held it, but I knew it had something to do with the day he’d fawned over those two women, like they were spun gold.
I have my fair share of fawning in my family as well, so I know when it’s real and when someone is putting on an act; he wasn’t. Because they were in our home that day for some backyard party or the like, I had more than enough time to study him without him even knowing, and he was the real deal.
He didn’t change when he thought no one was watching; he had been the same throughout. He reminded me of my Dad and the way he is with Mom and us girls. With Dad, it’s annoying; with him, it was cute.
Add the fact that he has the face an artist would love and the body to go with it, and there you have it. His voice, when he spoke, had a melody to it that seemed to reach deep inside me and touch something hidden there.
My body shivered with the memory of what had befallen me that day. I’d fallen head over heels with him right then and there, but I was too young. It could’ve easily been cast away as an innocent teenage crush, but with each consecutive meeting, those feelings only seemed to grow stronger.
It was hell being in love with someone so far out of reach, and that is why the things he had said to me that night had cut so deep. The worst part had been carrying that pain and still not being able to fall out of love with him.
It was nothing like his family legacy, but my love for him was just as strong. I underlined that part over and over again, because that was the crux of the matter. Had I lost all feelings for him, none of this would be necessary. I could just toss it aside as wasted effort on my part.
But those feelings were still there; they had never left. And now that he was back with hat in hand, I was going to get my due before settling down into marital bliss. Why not marry him after all is said and done? I’m holding a royal flush while he’s still asking the dealer for new cards.
Most women would probably run scared by now because what he described was so intense, but as for me, I see an uneven playing field, and I have the upper hand. I want to settle down and have kids someday, so what are my choices?
Go looking for someone else? Someone like Dale, whom I couldn’t even stand while in the relationship and hate now? Or stick with the guy who just told me he’s basically stupid in love with me? That’s a no-brainer.
I still have to deal with my own feelings, though, something I have avoided forever. Just because I know why doesn’t negate the fact that I was hurt back then and still bear the wounds. Just running away like this isn’t enough. I have to find a way to make him pay so that he’d never do that shit again.
And that was the problem. I had nothing. Each thought was pushed to the side because Julius wasn’t like anyone else I’ve ever met. I can’t use my usual warfare tactics on him; more’s the pity. I think he read the same books I have. If I go at him head-on, I might lose.
That’s why I’m here: I need time and space to think, to come up with a sure-fire way to deal with him so he doesn’t get out of line again. I chewed on my lip as I gave it some thought, taking notes as I went. The more I wrote, the more relaxed I felt until my hand grew tired.
By the time I put the pen down, it was way past midnight, and I realized that I was hungry. I hadn’t eaten anything all day, and there was only a chocolate bar in my purse that had been in there who knows how long.
It was too late to go anywhere since I was sure that everything would be closed by now, so I had to make do. I turned my phone back on since I’d turned it off when I left and saw a slew of missed calls and messages.
I snorted and put it away again; no way was I calling him back to put his mind at ease. His messages sounded harried and out of sorts, like I’d done him some grave injustice by leaving. I didn’t call my parents because they were under the impression that I was with Julius, and I wasn’t about to tell them that I had run away again and why.