Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 75891 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75891 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 379(@200wpm)___ 304(@250wpm)___ 253(@300wpm)
Every time I even thought about being with someone else, a wave of nausea would hit me out of nowhere, and I’d find the person repulsive. Meanwhile, this one….”Ouch!” I’d bitten her in my anger, something I never intended. Still, the thought of her being with him was more than I could bear.
It was your own doing, Julius; you can’t blame her. Fuck that. I abstained, and so should she. What gave her the right? I shook my head as my thoughts ran away from me and realized that I was choking her out. What the fuck is wrong with me?
In my renewed anger, I bit and sucked my way back down her body, driving my tongue into her until she screamed and came all over my mouth. When my mouth grew raw, I left off eating her out to leave my mark on her inner thighs.
JESSICA
My mind and body kept jumping from past to present. So much of this felt familiar. But I didn’t want to remember, couldn’t afford to. I’d spent a long time erasing that particular memory from my thoughts after months of suffering, but it was hard not to compare, mostly because my body was reacting the same way now as it did then.
His scent, the feel of his body pressed against mine, it all brought those long-buried memories rushing back, and it was hard to separate the two. It was as if time had not passed from then until now, as if we were just picking up where we left off that long-ago night.
That tight knot in my tummy grew even tighter with each touch of his lips or fingers against my heated flesh, and I was about to lose my mind trying to suppress myself. I never expected to feel this again, this burning longing deep in my gut, a fire that only he has ever been able to put out. He's also the only one to ignite it.
This feeling is hard to put into words. The best I can do is say that it feels as if my soul has become attached to his, forming a bond that shouldn’t be broken. I’d felt it that night, had foolishly believed that he’d felt it too, only to be rejected in the morning light.
It was that soul-bonding feeling that had been hardest to overcome. For weeks, even months after that night, my body had longed for him to the point that I became an insomniac. But it was the soul that hurt the longest. That’s a pain that I never wish to endure ever again in this lifetime.
It had left me drained and almost desolate for months until I finally snapped out of it, or more like the feelings had become suppressed through rigorous effort on my end. At first, I’d tried finding someone to erase him from my mind, but it hadn’t taken long to realize that that was impossible.
Maybe that’s why none of my relationships have worked out. Most men aren’t willing to forego sex for companionship, which was what I mostly had to offer. This last relationship was the only one I’d let go any further than just handholding, and even then, I still couldn’t bring myself to cross that line.
Just the thought of being intimate with anyone else made me physically ill, something I’ve hidden very well. I’ve used every excuse in the book to get out of going the distance, and I guess that was part of Dale’s reason for cheating. He doesn’t get a pass, though, because all the others before him had had the decency to break up with me before moving on with someone else.
And now here I am, back to where it all began, where I swore I would never venture again. The only difference between this and that night is his possessive rantings. Back then, he barely spoke a word, other than praise whispered in my ear, words I had remembered for a very long time.
It was those words and the way he’d touched me, looked at me, that had lingered in my heart much longer than the actual act of lovemaking itself. Those actions had pierced my heart in a way that nothing else ever has.
I’m not sure how long my mind had wandered before he noticed, but he was none too pleased, given his reaction. “Focus!” The word was followed by a hard slap to my ass and his teeth in my damn inner thigh again.
What are you, a dog? Since you like biting people… I pulled him up by his hair and bit into his Adam’s apple before finding a softer spot on his neck to leave my mark, though it was nowhere near what he had done to my poor body. I could feel the slight sting in each and every one of the marks he’d left on me.