Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
“No?” His face twisted in fury. He didn’t give one fuck who could overhear us. He stepped closer, looming over me. “I don’t understand? What don’t I understand? Hardship? You think I have no clue about that sort of thing?”
He laughed in my face, and I recoiled, because it was so hard, so bitter, so real.
“You think I have no idea what it’s like to lose your parents in one day? To worry about the foster system, whether they’re going to separate me from my sister? To just automatically write off hockey, because what fucking kid in the foster system can afford hockey? Or no, that’s not enough. What about when my sister comes to me when she’s fifteen and tells me she’s pregnant? Fifteen. Or to have people look at me with disdain, as if I were the one who fathered her kid? That’s incest. And disgusting. And they thought that shit about me. But you’re right. I have no idea what it’s like to struggle through life. Not at all. Not when my twin sister has a baby when she’s a sophomore in high school. Or when she decides to keep the most precious gem of our lives. Not to mention that the piece of shit who got her pregnant dumped her the first second she told him about their child.
“We got lucky with someone who agreed to take both of us in,” he continued. “I got sponsored. My sister was dealing. Then comes along a new boyfriend, except he’s a dick of a boyfriend. He’s angry and he’s volatile and he hates me, but Skylar thinks he’s the king shit. Then, because the asshole doesn’t want to learn how to drive, he gets them in a car accident and my sister walks away with a brain injury. Guess what happens with that boyfriend? Just like the last one, he leaves her in the dust. Now it’s me, my sister, and my niece, plus a brain injury. She’s high functioning, but she still has a fucking brain injury and a host of abandonment issues. I swear to God, but you’re right. I have no idea about hardship. Or pushing through it. None at all.” His anger came at me in waves. “Fuck you for bolting. Fuck you for leaving the first second you got a chance. Fuck you, Rain.”
He turned to walk away.
I should let him go.
I should…
But I couldn’t.
God help me, I can’t.
“You don’t understand. Everyone leaves,” I yelled, my voice cracking.
He stopped before slowly pivoting around. “Everyone leaves? How fucking cliché can you get?”
I winced. His jab hit its bullseye. “Never mind.” I started walking.
“You’re so fucking oblivious. It’s driving me insane.”
I grimaced at the second jab. I stopped, but I didn’t turn around.
He drew closer. “The whole time in there, I listened to you talk about a life devoid of love. You never got that, and then you apologized to Kashvi that your life wasn’t worse than it was. What the fuck are you smoking?”
I jumped at the force of his anger.
He spat, “I don’t know what kind of psychological torment you’re in, but don’t discredit it. My sister loved me. Our parents loved us before they died. We got them for a full fourteen years. I remember them. I know how my mom used to laugh. I know how my dad used to roll his eyes at my mom, before he gave in to whatever she was asking him to do. I have those memories. Life sucked afterward, yeah. But I had my sister. I was loved. I know what that’s like. I don’t question my place in life, but I have to imagine that’s what you do. Is that it? Do you question whether you matter to people? When I laughed, someone responded. They either laughed with me or they told me to stop laughing. But there was something there. I meant something. It doesn’t sound like you ever got that.”
He paused a moment, gathering himself. “Who let you know you existed? No one. Who validated you, praised you, told you that you were worth something? Who loved you?”
Every word he said was painful, but he was right.
“What are you doing, Tyler?” I whispered, hanging my head. “I’m not worth this.”
“Bullshit.”
“I’m not. You don’t get it…” I trailed off. He kinda did. And how did he? “I’m not worth this.”
He took a step closer, tilting his head to the side. “Maybe you are to me.”
“No.” I shook my head, falling back a few steps, and when he followed, I held up my hand to stop him. “Everyone leaves. I’m not being dramatic when I say this. Everyone has left. My brothers. My father. We had no relatives that I knew about. I’ve tried. I really have. I’ve dated, but after a year or two, they learn. There’s something inherently wrong with me. They figure it out, whatever it is, and they realize I’m not worth it. No one stays. The only ones who do are the ones I keep at a distance, the ones I don’t let in. I don’t allow them to get close enough to find out what’s wrong with me. Because I know the second I let them in, they’ll see it and they’ll go. You’ll see it too. I am doing you a favor right now.”