Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
He was?
He caught my look and amended, “Or not totally for sex. Sunny asked about Zoey a while ago. I didn’t get into it with him, but I realized I do want to talk about her. That’s big for me. I usually don’t want to say shit to anyone. I’m learning that maybe I can open up. I mean, I did with you before and that was great. Then I felt connected to the team tonight and that was really great. That all just made me want to open up more, share more. Ski’s mad at me because I told her Zoey should go to a mental health clinic. That’s up your alley, right? All the psychology and shit.”
Psychology and shit.
He looked so proud, beaming about this new thing for him, which was normal for most people. It was normal to talk about what was going on in your life. My heart pinched because it was something I deprived myself of.
He was handing me all the excuses not to come clean.
A lesser person would jump on that because it was a good thing that he wanted to talk to someone. But I was about to shove all that progress away.
I cleared my throat, my voice growing hoarse, but I started. I had to, otherwise I didn’t think I’d ever be able to tell him. “You need to know things about me. Especially if you want to keep opening up to me. I can’t let you do that until you know everything.” My knees were trembling. So was my voice. “My first name is not Rain. It’s Dylan. My dad really wanted another boy, so he was set on my name even before I was born.”
Here we go.
“My name is Dylan Rain Connors.”
His eyes darkened, narrowing. “What?”
“I use my middle name because it’s from my mom. I like to think she loved me. Maybe I should’ve changed my last name, but I went to school as a Connors. I got my degree as a Connors. I was already known in my field as Rain Connors before I could make any sort of switch. I stayed with it.”
“What are you talking about?”
The pain tripled, growing stronger. I tried to numb it all away. “My last name was never an issue when I worked with the NFL. I went that direction to get away from hockey, but I’d forgotten how much I used to love this sport. It’s been bittersweet coming back, but my name…” I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, so I focused on the floor. “I can’t be involved with you unless you know who I am and are okay with it.” I readied myself. He wasn’t going to be okay with it. I had to tell him anyway. “I was supposed to be their third boy. Dylan Connors. Daniel, Dane, and Dylan. Daniel and Dane Connors are my brothers.”
I waited a beat, expecting something. An exclamation. A threat. A reprimand for not coming clean before.
Nothing came until I heard a soft click.
I looked up and felt as if a knife was just shoved into my gut.
The room was empty.
He was gone.
32
RAIN
They’d made me an office in a room previously used for storage near the administration offices. I was working on a few individual plans—step-by-step ways to work toward achieving a goal. I had them for almost all the players now, as well as for the team itself and the coaches. I was working on one for Meester when there was a knock at my door.
“Come in.”
The door opened, and Mal Benoit poked his head in. He flashed me a smile, in dress slacks and a button-down shirt. The collar was pulled out and it was sans a tie, but he looked the epitome of a rich business owner. “Bad time?”
“Uh, no.” I saved my work and closed out of the program, shutting my laptop. “Come in.” I indicated the loveseat on the other side of my desk. When and if a player came in, I liked having them comfortable. As Mal took a seat at one end, I said, “I have a mini fridge. Would you like water? I also brought in my Keurig. I can make a mean cup of coffee.”
“I’m good. You do know there’s a whole cafeteria where any of the staff can go for water or coffee or hell, even a latte, I’m told.” He was teasing, but I saw some tension on his face.
I had an inkling of what this was about, but I asked anyway. “What brings you to my corner of the Grays’ world?”
“What happened with Tyler?”
Yes. That.
Since I’d told Tyler my secret, he hadn’t spoken a word to me. That’d been a week ago. I hadn’t been certain what to expect from him, but it wasn’t this silent treatment.
I’d tried telling myself it was fine. We never talked around the team, but this felt different. If I entered a room, he left it. If he had to be in a room with me, he kept his eyes somewhere else. It was to be expected, and maybe even for the best, except it hurt.