Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 121734 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 609(@200wpm)___ 487(@250wpm)___ 406(@300wpm)
“Rain?”
She tore off, hurrying to my truck.
I hustled after her, hitting the unlock button so she could get in without waiting. I hit the start button too, so the engine was rumbling before I got behind the wheel.
Rain was bent over, her fists pressed against her eyes. She rocked back and forth, a raw sound coming from her that didn’t sound altogether human.
I touched her back. “Rain?”
She flew upright at my touch, exploding, “She would’ve adopted me! That’s what she told me in there. If she’d known exactly what my situation was, she would’ve tried to adopt me. She knew enough, knew something wasn’t right, but she didn’t push. She…” The fight suddenly left her, as if she’d deflated.
“You told her it wouldn’t have mattered.”
“I lied,” she said flatly. “I said that to make her feel better, but I lied. Yes, there would’ve been a time period where I didn’t trust them. But eventually, if they’d stuck it out with me, it would’ve helped. It would’ve made so much difference. But even as I say that, something in me thinks, why would they have wasted that on me? I had shelter. I had food. I was physically safe. Others had it worse. They should’ve adopted someone else if they were going to help anyone.”
“Rain…” I started, not totally sure what to say.
“And he wasn’t even my father. Not my real one. I didn’t know! I wished I had known. Why did my mom lie to everyone about that? She could’ve—things could’ve been better.” She was back to whispering, her voice coming out sounding so tiny. “He didn’t know I wasn’t his and he still treated me like that. I—why? Was it just because I was a girl? Did he actually know he wasn’t my real dad? Maybe he could sense it, but no. He would’ve kicked me out. I know he would’ve. And if someone questioned him, he would’ve told them I wasn’t his kid so why did he need to put up with me?” Tears kept streaming down her face. One silent trail after another. She wasn’t even fighting them. “What was so wrong with me?”
I reached over, cupped the back of her neck, and held her tight. “You did nothing wrong. There is nothing wrong with you. The problem lies with him. With them. Not you. You hear me? Not. You. I don’t ever want to hear you say that again. There’s nothing wrong with you. There is only good in you. You got me?”
“Tyler,” she whimpered, closing her eyes and letting her head fall forward.
Christ. I wanted to take the world on for her. She didn’t deserve to feel this. Not her. I meant what I said. She was only good.
“You went to the hospital with me.”
“What?”
I said it again. “You went to the hospital with me. You went there not knowing what you were going to walk into, and you still went. You were by my side. You went to get us coffees. You are everything that’s right in the world, and you don’t have one clue about it. You are my sunshine. Day one, I wanted you. Day two, I never wanted to leave your side. You’ve become my foundation and baby, I’m generally rock solid. I don’t really need a foundation, but I’m addicted to you. I can’t leave you. Like, literally. Ever. There are not enough words to tell you how much I love you, how much I need you. You steady me. You are brave. You inspire me. I want to be better for you, because of you. You make me a better person and that says everything about you. You might be slow to letting people in, but that’s the only flaw I can see in you and I don’t think that’s even a flaw. I got a feeling that when you love, you love hard and I will sign up any day and every day for some of that goodness from you.” I squeezed the back of her neck, gently. “Do you believe me?”
She held my gaze, a few more tears sliding down her face, but there was a hole in her pain. Some of the sun I knew in her started to peek out. She said, “Yeah.”
“Good.”
“It’s all fresh.”
“What is?”
“This. Me.” She pointed at her head. “This shit that’s in there. I didn’t know there was a name for it.” She was quiet a moment. “I told you about Mal, how he found me at the bar yesterday. He told me about his cousin.” She looked up at me as I began massaging her neck. “Ty, Miriam was like me. We didn’t get into that last night, but she was like me.” Her eyes filled with tears again, along with a flash of annoyance. She wiped savagely at her face. “I’ve not cried in years, because there was no point, and now for the last twenty-four hours, I can’t stop crying.”