Total pages in book: 91
Estimated words: 86322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86322 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 432(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 288(@300wpm)
All I needed was a few minutes, and I’d be fine.
CHAPTER 6
ASPEN
With a demure tip of my lips, I walked across the room, waving and nodding to our guests without letting any of them interfere with my goal: to make it to the staircase where I could escape up to the mezzanine for air. Not even Ash, who tilted his head in question, noticing my hollow eyes and fake smile.
I unclipped the velvet rope that kept guests from moving beyond the first floor and climbed the steps. When I reached the top, I stuck to the wall, hidden from view.
Closing my eyes, I drew in a deep breath and pressed my back to the cool wall, registering the texture beneath my flattened palms, the chair rail digging into my spine, the soft jazz drifting up from below, beneath the low hum of conversation. I held my breath, then let it out slowly—free from the overstimulating glare of lights and the weight of eyes tracking my every move. Free from the strain of scanning faces, of wondering whether guests were enjoying the party or quietly cataloging it as a failure.
I anchored myself to the wall—and nothing else, letting it all drift away.
Until I heard steps softened by the red carpet.
My eyes snapped open as I prepared to slide back into hostess mode, only to fall back against the wall when I saw Ash approaching.
“You okay?” he asked, leaning against the banister across from me.
“I’m fine.” I laced my answer with sincerity, hoping he wouldn’t pick up on the lie.
He smirked, and his brow rose, slow and deliberate, his expression calling bullshit.
Giving up the ruse, I groaned and crossed over to the railing, pressing my hands against the smooth stone and leaning into it at his side.
“I’d offer to comfort you, but with Lucian in the picture, I’m assuming our five minutes in heaven are over.”
I laughed at his reference to the few times I’d called him over to help relieve stress, and scanned the guests grouped together, clutching their champagne, and chatting with new friends and old. “Yeah, he probably wouldn’t like that.”
He hummed his agreement before falling silent. “I can see how much he cares for you after watching him stand by your side all night. Like a proud man in love, knowing he’s got the best woman in the room on his arm.”
I snorted. “The last thing Lucian feels about me is love.”
“You don’t think your fiancé loves you?” Ash asked, his head tipping to the side.
“I would say our marriage is…unconventional,” I answered with a sigh. “We both get what we need from our arrangement, but love isn’t one of them.”
“Soooo, you also don’t love your future husband?”
The answer should have been an easy no. Yet, when I asked myself if I loved Lucian Daire, my heart did this weird drop before buoying into a rapid thump.
He stood up for me. He threatened Brian and forced him to leave. He stood by my side and didn’t judge me.
He…defended me.
The usual heat he incited in my core spread, settling deep in my chest. When I layered in all the times he’d been waiting for me at home this week—with a glass of wine, a cooked meal, a bath already drawn because he knew how stressed I’d been—it pulled my focus past his sex appeal and into something warmer.
Was that love?
No.
I dismissed the question as soon as I thought it. Too much stood between us for me to be in love with him. However, I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe I could fall in love with Lucian Daire.
The idea terrified me.
I shoved aside all thoughts of love and shook my head. “I…care for him.” There, I could admit that. Even if I struggled to force the words past the lump in my throat.
Ash shot me a skeptical look before turning to scan the crowd over his shoulder. “Well, I think he more than cares for you. In fact, with the way he’s watching you right now, I’d say he craves you.”
My heart skipped a beat.
Craves.
Of all the words he could’ve said, he chose that one. The one that Lucian specifically used to explain what he would never feel for me.
Despite knowing I wouldn’t find the emotion on his face, I still looked, trying to see what Ash did. I found Lucian’s broad shoulders in the crowd, my gaze snapping to his like a magnet. Ash was correct that Lucian watched me, but not because he craved me. All I found in his dark expression was indifference sparking with flashes of anger. When he glanced toward Ash and his jaw ticked, I could only assume what he thought of us talking alone away from everyone else.
“That’s not craving. That’s just a man who doesn’t like to share his toys,” I explained and rolled my eyes.