Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 65112 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65112 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 326(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
“I’m not used to people doing nice things for me without expecting something.”
“I wanted you to be happy tonight,” I tell her honestly. “You deserve to be happy.”
She steps closer.
“Sebastian,” she nearly whispers.
I wait for what comes next, but instead she rises on her tiptoes and kisses me. For half a second, I’m surprised. Then my hand is at her waist and my mouth is on hers, and I’ve run out of reasons to be careful.
She tastes like sparkling water and chocolate. Her hands slide up my chest, fingers curling into my shirt. It would be easy to take the opening. Easy to let the kiss go where it wants to go, because I know she wants me. I can feel it in the way she leans into me, in the soft sound she makes when my hand tightens at her waist.
That’s exactly why I stop. I pull back before I can talk myself out of it.
She blinks up at me, cheeks flushed, eyes confused enough to make me feel like an asshole immediately.
“What?” she asks.
I step back. “We shouldn’t.”
The confusion turns into embarrassment so fast I want to kick myself.
“Oh,” she says, folding her arms over herself.
“This is too confusing,” I tell her. “I want to be with you, but you clearly don’t want to be with me.”
Her eyes shine, and I immediately regret every word.
“I’m trying,” she says, and her voice cracks just enough to make me feel like the worst man alive. “I don’t know what you want from me.”
“I don’t want you to force yourself into something because I’m here and I’m safe tonight. I don’t want you to regret this in the morning.”
She swipes under one eye, clearly angry at the tear. She glares at me through wet lashes.
I step closer again, slow enough that she has every chance to move away. She doesn’t.
“Listen to me,” I say. “I don’t need the picture-perfect family. I don’t need a white picket fence. I don’t need you to pretend you’re ready for something when you aren’t.”
She looks down at the floor, but at least she’s listening.
“And if you decide this isn’t what you want, I’m not going to lose my mind and punish you for it. I’m not going to follow you or make you pay for saying no. I’m not Adrian.”
Her face crumples for half a second before she gets it under control. That tells me I finally said the right thing, or at least something close to it.
“You deserve someone who makes you feel safe,” I continue. “If that isn’t me, I’ll find a way to be okay. But I can’t keep being the guy you regret being with.”
She lets out a shaky breath that almost turns into a laugh. “I want to try.”
I stare at her, not sure I heard her right. “What?”
“I want to try,” she says again, clearer this time. “With you. I don’t know what that looks like. I don’t know how good I’m going to be at it, and I’m probably going to freak out a lot, but I want to try.”
I take a second before I answer, because if I respond too fast, I’m going to say something too honest or too possessive, and we’ve made it this far without me fucking it up completely.
“All right,” I say.
Her brows pull together. “That’s it?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know. Something dramatic. You’re very intense, so I expected more.”
I move closer. “I’m trying not to scare you off.”
I slide a hand to her waist, giving her time to step back. She doesn’t. Her hands come to my chest again, more certain this time.
“I’m still scared,” she admits.
“I know.”
“But not of you. Not right now.”
I lower my head and kiss her. This time, I don’t stop. I guide her upstairs slowly, partly because she’s pregnant and exhausted, partly because I need her to know she can change her mind at any point. She doesn’t. She keeps her hand in mine the whole way, and when we reach my room, she’s the one who pulls me down to kiss her again.
23
VALENTINA
Iwake up slowly. Sebastian’s arm is wrapped around my waist and it makes me feel anchored. For a few seconds, I just lie there in his bed, staring at the pale morning light slipping through the curtains, waiting for my body to start panicking. It never does.
For months after Adrian, I could barely sleep in my own bed without checking the locks twice. Sleeping beside anyone else would’ve been unthinkable. Waking up with an arm around me would’ve sent me straight for the door, probably with one shoe on and no bra.
Instead, I’m still here. That feels important.
Sebastian shifts behind me, his fingers flexing against my stomach before he fully wakes. I look down at his hand and try not to think too much about how natural it feels there.