Total pages in book: 180
Estimated words: 182075 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 910(@200wpm)___ 728(@250wpm)___ 607(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 182075 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 910(@200wpm)___ 728(@250wpm)___ 607(@300wpm)
As he drew back, he saw how red her face was.
No. He thought he’d made his point without causing pain. Not that she didn’t deserve a hot bottom for the way she’d been talking about herself
He cupped her chin. “Talk to me, that’s what we’re here for.”
“I just . . . I can’t slip into Little space easily. And it’s . . . frustrating. I was too nervous at the club, too self-conscious. Other people aren’t that way, so why am I?”
He’d been thinking about this himself. And he had been remembering that serious girl he’d met years ago who’d hidden herself in a cupboard.
“You had to grow up so quickly,” he told her. “If you didn’t take care of yourself then no one else would, right? How old were you when you started making your own school lunches? Washing your clothes? Getting everything you needed for school?”
“Probably when I started school. I remember going with dirty clothes and the teachers calling Mum. She showed me how to use the washing machine. I was so short, I had to drag over a chair so I could get stuff into it and press the buttons.”
Anger filled him. “Jesus. That bitch.”
She shrugged. “I guess she is who she is. There’s no changing her.”
“My father still hasn’t heard from her.”
“I know I should be worried . . .”
“No, Boo. You should just feel how you feel and frankly she doesn’t deserve your worry. Understood? Do not feel guilty for not caring about that bitch.”
She winced but nodded.
“I think you just have a bit of a block when it comes to letting go of your Big worries and concerns. A lot of people want to go back to the time when they were happiest. Playing games, doing fun things. Or perhaps to being a baby when they didn’t have to concern themselves with anything.”
“And I don’t have those memories? So am I ever going to be able to do this?”
“You forget we’ve all seen glimpses of your Little. She’s there. She just needs some help. A calm environment. Maybe some physical cues.”
Indie gave him a confused look. “What do you mean?”
“Well, for some people they are always their Little. You know what I mean?”
She nodded. “I think so.”
“For others, they might only slip into Little headspace in a playroom, or with their Big, or if they’re wearing a certain outfit.”
“You think I’m wearing the wrong thing?” She glanced down at her oversized T-shirt and long tight pants.
He thought the T-shirt was one of Rock’s which was pretty adorable.
But they could do better.
44
Indie stared at herself in the large mirror. She was in the small wardrobe off her playroom.
“What do you think?” Slade asked, standing behind her and watching her closely. “I’m not as good at doing hair as Spencer, but I think it looks okay.”
“I look so cute!” she said. “And it looks great!”
He’d done her hair up high into two braids and tied them off with pale pink ribbon. Then she was wearing a long-sleeved white shirt with ruffles at the wrists and around her collar and some pink overalls with white hearts. Which might be a bit tricky when it came to having to go to the toilet but she didn’t care.
She. Looked. Cute.
On her feet were a pair of fluffy pink slippers that he’d produced from the back of the wardrobe.
“I didn’t even know I had these slippers.”
“Hmm. Spencer has been having fun buying things for you,” Slade said.
She bit her lower lip worriedly. “He shouldn’t spend all his money on me.”
“Hey.” He turned her around to face him, reaching up to release her lip. “Money is no longer something you have to concern yourself with. Understood?”
It wasn’t?
She’d always worried about money. Even with Billy taking care of all the bills, she’d been concerned about asking him for some when she needed it. She’d always wondered about the state of their finances. Whether they had enough. What was going on. If she was asking for too much. It was probably due to her childhood. She’d often come home to no food in the cupboard or to find that the electricity had been turned off.
So it was hard to just stop worrying. But she had to start trusting them. So she nodded.
“Good girl. Now, shall we go see what fun we can find in the playroom together?”
“Together?” she asked. “Don’t you have other things to do? Do you even like to play?”
“I can play. Again, not as good as Spencer . . . but I think we have this. What do you say?”
“Okay,” she said with a small smile.
“Okay, what? What do you call me?” He placed a firm finger under her chin and tilted her head back.
“Okay, Daddy.”
“That’s Daddy’s good girl.” Leaning down, he placed a kiss on her nose. Then on each of her cheeks.