Total pages in book: 137
Estimated words: 127949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 640(@200wpm)___ 512(@250wpm)___ 426(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127949 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 640(@200wpm)___ 512(@250wpm)___ 426(@300wpm)
Only, I knew him. I knew my pseudo-stepbrother better than anyone. I could always see the gears turning behind the dark, deep eyes, set either side of a nose that was just the right amount of crooked from when his convoy was ambushed.
A month later, he was back out there.
Nothing scared him. Nothing I had ever seen, at least.
His broad frame was layered with rolling muscle, stretching each perfectly-white t-shirt he wore like a uniform every night. Every-single-night. A brand-new t-shirt, worn 505’s, and his well broken in custom-made Wesco Harness boots.
The only time I had seen him wear anything else was nearly three years ago.
He'd put on an Armani suit to be a pall bearer at my brother Kent’s funeral, after an accident when Jesse was home on leave claimed my brother’s life. I half wished I could remember that day better, because Jesse must have looked good in that suit. Truth was, he looked good in anything. He always had, ever since I could remember.
As a goofy teenager, when he was my brother’s best friend, I wrote his name over and over in my diary. I was too shy to meet his eyes, but I already knew I would never want another man in my whole life.
Even back then, I knew that Jesse would ruin any other men for me.
That thought hit me, and while he and the other guys got the bar straightened up, I snuck myself a triple shot of Grey Goose and slammed it back. It was a little early for me to start that heavy, but no one was looking, so I figured I'd get it while the gettin’s good.
It didn’t take long before new faceless, nameless customers started filtering back into the bar. They filled the empty tables, and Vanessa and Renee took their breaks to be replaced by Helena and Cara, wearing identical bras and thongs that would last only until they figured they'd made as much in tips as they were going to before showing some more skin.
As soon as the fight was over, Jesse had limped toward his office. One of the guys had spilled a beer on his shirt, a dark stain spreading from his hard, flat abs across his chest. Of course, it would be replaced by another white t-shirt, but he could never stand to wear that one again. He wouldn’t even wash it. It would go right in the trash.
My stomach gave a little flutter thinking about him as I watched the girls dance and served a new set of shitty customers. Jesse and Kent had been best friends since 2nd grade, when Jesse pushed him off the slide and they duked it out on the playground. I guess that’s how guys make friends sometimes, because they had been like brothers ever since.
When things at home finally came to a head, and I got taken out of Mom and Dad’s house, Kent was already living with Jesse. Jesse’s parents had been killed in a helicopter crash on a training exercise, and he’d inherited everything. The moment he turned 18, he gave my brother all the help he could to get custody of me. With Jesse’s help, Kent fought for me in court and won the right to be my legal guardian.
That was my big brother. He had always looked out for me and took his responsibilities more seriously than our parents ever had.
And Jesse had happily taken on the same role. But, the way I felt about him sure wasn’t the same as I did about my brother.
I moved in with them, and Jesse became my brother number two. The man I could never have in the way I really wanted.
Chapter Two
With Jesse in his office, I managed to fill my covered ‘coffee’ mug with Grey Goose and Cranberry without anyone taking any notice. Those burning sips between customers kept me sane, but I knew it was poor compensation for what I really wanted.
Or rather, who I really wanted. Who I had always wanted.
The day I turned 18, Jesse was leaving for his first full tour with the Marines. He and Kent had both completed business degrees, but while Kent saw himself at the head of some cutting edge start up, Jesse had always wanted to serve.
He’d joined the Marines, but even then he had his sights set on something bigger. Most people assumed he wanted to be a Green Beret to follow in his father’s footsteps, but the truth was Jesse always wanted to protect people. Even so, watching him that day and knowing he was shipping out the next, my heart was broken.
My girlhood crush had become something so much bigger for me, and watching him get ready to leave, not knowing if, or when, he would be back, had me once again feeling lost and abandoned.