Total pages in book: 67
Estimated words: 63496 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 317(@200wpm)___ 254(@250wpm)___ 212(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 63496 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 317(@200wpm)___ 254(@250wpm)___ 212(@300wpm)
“Dane’s a bastard. You shouldn’t believe a word that comes out of his mouth,” I snap, feeling cornered.
“Mommy!”
I take a deep breath, getting ahold of myself before the tears can fall. It’s a slight miracle that they haven’t. Any other day, I might count that as a win. I can’t today, though. My big brother is standing in front of me, looking perfect. He’s taken a leave of absence from the military to come deal with the messed-up life of his pitiful little sister. It’s no wonder he’s the only one our father can stand to look at. I exhale through my mouth trying to focus on the pain I feel. Tonight, I can wonder what it is about me that every male I open my heart to finds me lacking. Today, I have to keep my shit together for Cammie. I don’t have a choice. If my life has a bright spot at all. It’s my beautiful, strawberry haired, curly-headed, munchkin. She’s five and the only thing good in my life. Cammie deserves a better life than the one she’s getting, but I hope I can do enough to let her know that I love her and always will. I’d die for my baby. Some days it feels like I am. Especially right now.
“Be right there, baby,” I yell. “Come in, but don’t mention the divorce in front of Cammie. She might be only five, but she’s sharp as a tack. Heck, she’s too smart for my sanity,” I warn Drew, before turning away and going back into the living room. Cammie is in front of the coffee table, playing with blocks while she watches Moana for the one hundredth time. When she sees me she holds out her hands, “You were supposed ta’ hug me, Mama,” she orders, making me smile. For a small moment in time, I take time to just feel alive. Everything is always better when Cammie is in my arms.
“I’m here sweet baby,” I croon, cuddling her to me. My heart instantly settles when her arms are around my neck. I turn when I notice there’s a strange man in my living room with Drew.
“Um …”
“This is Pez. He’s taking over Dad’s position at the club.”
“Hey,” the man says. His voice is gruff, and it sends shivers through me for some strange reason. He’s got hair that’s a dirty blonde which is slightly long, piercing blue eyes, and the worn jeans and black tee he’s wearing looks as if his muscular body was poured into them. In another life, he’s the kind of man I would have wanted to get to know, be close to. I shake that thought away. He probably would have hurt me just like Dane did. I’m just not the type of girl a man truly wants. It’s a hard lesson, but I’ve learned it well the last few years.
“Hello … um, Pez. Nice to meet you.” I try to hold his gaze, but it’s so intense, I have to force myself to turn back to Drew. “Dad’s stepping down?”
“Yeah, he’s been half-assing a lot of shit since he and Mom split. You had to know that,” Drew says, and I scoff.
“I know nothing about our father. He wants nothing to do with me. The way I keep trying with him is just a tribute to the fact that I’m half insane. Also, please don’t curse around Cammie. She’s like a sponge.”
“Sorry,” he mutters, with a sly smile. “Not really used to having kids around.”
“Are you two staying for dinner?”
“What if we take you out to dinner?” Pez suggests, taking me by surprise.
“I … uh …”
“That’s a good idea, Dez. C’mon, sis. Let us take you and Cammie out to dinner.”
“Dinner for Cammie is usually McDonalds. I’m not sure that’s the kind of food you two guys eat. I don’t care to fix something here,” I murmur.
“I like nuggets,” Cammie interjects, still looking at my brother and Pez carefully. She’s more guarded around men than a five-year-old should be. I hate that her father is a piece of shit that has hurt me and his daughter more than should be allowed.
“We’ll make do. Go clean up and we’ll play with Cammie in the meantime,” Drew says, moving to take Cammie out of my arms. “You remember me, don’t you, munchkin? I’m your uncle Drew. What if we play blocks together while Mom gets ready for dinner?”
She looks at him, then shakes her head. “No!”
“Cammie, this is Uncle Drew. Remember he came in for Christmas last year.”
“No,” she repeats.
I sigh. “Sorry, Drew. She’s been really clingy lately.” I don’t add that she’s had to see her father screaming at me and it has changed her. That’s the main reason I filed for divorce. I’d grown numb to his cheating. His denials telling me nothing was happening, and it was all in my imagination still echo in my head late at night. Buried the deepest, however, is catching him with Serena, my ex-best friend.