Total pages in book: 179
Estimated words: 170878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 854(@200wpm)___ 684(@250wpm)___ 570(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 170878 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 854(@200wpm)___ 684(@250wpm)___ 570(@300wpm)
She jumped up from the sofa. “Imagine if you meet a boy and fall in love! Then you can stay in Jupiter and live here forever!”
Clara was aware of my plans for leaving. Beau reminded her often, as did I. We had an unspoken agreement to manage Clara’s expectations toward me, to ensure that she knew my presence was not forever. Boundaries. We’d tried to instill them.
I thought she’d taken it in stride, but apparently, she was making up fantasies about me staying forever. Her and me both.
I smiled, still not looking at Beau.
Clara did, though. “Wouldn’t that be great, Daddy?” She turned to him. “If Hannah lived here forever?”
Then I looked at Beau. He was a statue. His knuckles were white, gripping his e-reader, making me worried about its fate in his large hands. He was still staring at me, and he did so for precisely five seconds after his daughter asked him that question before he looked at her, his features softening.
“If Hannah lived here forever, it would be with a man, and not a boy,” he said, voice thick.
It took all my effort not to stumble back at his words, to not crumble under the weight of them.
Beau rose from the couch, setting down his Kindle before walking over to pull his daughter into his arms. “But Hannah has a whole life ahead of her that doesn’t include Jupiter, don’t you?”
Beau looked at least six inches above my head when he asked me that question.
A life that doesn’t include us, was what Beau left unsaid, a five-year-old unable to comprehend the meaning.
“I don’t pretend to know what’s ahead of me.” My throat went dry, making it difficult to swallow. My gaze centered on Clara. “And I agree with your father, Clara, I definitely need a man instead of a boy.”
Feeling brave, I gave Beau a pointed look.
His eyes flared in surprise, and there was no missing the way his jaw clenched. My fingertips went numb, and I became very aware of my lower body, of the need unfurling there.
My phone vibrated in my purse, jerking me out of my stupor. I fumbled for it, reading the text.
“Lori’s here,” I said woodenly. “Sleep well, Clara.” I blew her a kiss. I didn’t look at Beau again.
I couldn’t.
There were no boys, or men, at dinner.
We did not go dancing, not that I wanted to, anyway. Nor did Lori.
Because she was too sick.
Morning sickness that, apparently, didn’t happen exclusively in the morning. It happened all day every day, according to Lori.
“We didn’t need to go out,” I told her when she came back from the restroom looking pale, nibbling on french fries as soon as she sat down.
“No.” She shook her head. “I needed to get out of my apartment. The four walls were closing in on me.”
Lori, beyond looking sick, also looked stressed. Sad. It was safe to say that this pregnancy had not been planned. The last time we spoke—well, the first time we spoke—she’d told me about her plans to work with UNESCO and document sites in politically unstable regions of the world. It sounded badass, exciting, and dangerous.
Not something one could do while pregnant, or with an infant.
“How far along are you?” I asked cautiously, unsure of how far to probe into her life. We were on our first “friendship date,” after all, but she seemed lost, and I understood how that felt.
“About five or six weeks, I’m guessing.” She dipped her fry in ketchup, staring at it before peering up at me. “You’re the first person I’ve told.”
That surprised me. I liked Lori. We had become fast friends, a connection between us I’d only felt with Cole. But I had seen her with the other women in Jupiter, and it had been obvious she was close to them. They were understanding, progressive women. I doubted they would judge her or offer her nothing but support. Most likely more support than I was equipped to give since my life was a hot mess.
“Everyone else is married,” she explained as if she’d read my mind. “In fairy-tale relationships that defy all odds, with good men who would do anything for them.” She smiled. “And I love that for them, they all deserve it. But that means they have a skewed perception when it comes to any kind of romantic entanglement.” She looked down at her belly. “They would try to turn this into the beginning of a love story with the father. Trust me, there is no version where I end up with the father of this baby. He already told me to get rid of it.”
I winced for her. And I understood why she didn’t want to tell the other women. Like she said, they were living the kinds of lives I hadn’t thought possible with men who were the exception, not the rule. It was wonderful for them but difficult to witness in the midst of a real-life scenario with a real-life man.