Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 78793 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 394(@200wpm)___ 315(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 78793 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 394(@200wpm)___ 315(@250wpm)___ 263(@300wpm)
“He’s always had mine,” I confess. “He is the sweetest little boy.”
Baker nods, but then goes silent on me again. I’m trying to think of something to say. This usually isn’t an issue for me, but seeing his reaction downstairs, now is not the time for humor. Something’s wrong, and I know he’ll tell me in his own time. If not, I’m sure the girls will fill me in.
“Thank you for taking care of him. I know today is your day off, but I appreciate you jumping in.”
“Of course,” I reply as the silence once again surrounds us.
“She’s gone,” he whispers brokenly.
“Who’s gone?”
“Natasha.”
I’m confused. She’s gone, as in, she’s moving away? I’m running scenarios through my mind when he speaks again.
“She was on a small plane, headed to one of the smaller islands of Hawaii, and her plane went down.” His tortured hazel eyes find mine. “She’s gone. Levi was with her and the pilot. No survivors.”
“Oh, Baker,” I breathe, as my heart cracks wide open for the little boy sleeping peacefully between us. “I’m so sorry.” I know that’s not the right words to say, but I’m failing at speaking anything else at the moment.
“She wasn’t the best mother, but she was alive, you know?”
“I know.” I nod, because he’s right. She might not have been making Camden a priority now, but there was always a chance she could change her ways. Now, that chance has been taken away. “What can I do?”
“You’re here,” he says, his sad eyes meeting mine. “I don’t know how to navigate this. Her parents are deceased, and I don’t think she’s close to any other family.”
“Then we’ll lay her to rest properly. I’ll do everything I can to help you.” Training camp starts Monday, and I know this is going to be a lot on his shoulders.
“I want to say that I can’t ask you to do that, but, Sloane, I’m drowning here. My heart aches for my son, who will never get to know his mother. She wasn’t the best, but she was his, you know? I hate that he won’t remember her. It’s ironic because if she had kept going down the path she was on, I was going to ask her to sign her rights over to me. Now, here I am, potentially planning her funeral.”
“I’ll do it,” I tell him. I can’t only see, but hear the anguish this is causing him.
“The worst part is how many times I’ve thought that if she were out of our lives, it would be better. I could stop wondering if she was going to be present for him, and just move on, but, Sloane, I promise you, I didn’t want this. I would never wish this on anyone.”
“No, of course not. This isn’t your fault, Baker. Your feelings were based on her actions. It doesn’t make you a bad person. Hell, we all thought it,” I tell him. “We all saw how her ignoring Camden affected you, and I might be a bitch for saying this, but you know who it didn’t affect?” I pause, waiting for his reply, but all he gives me is a slight shrug. “Cam. You love him hard, Baker. This little boy is happy and healthy, and while you might be letting guilt set heavy on your shoulders, know that you’re an incredible father, and it shows in this little guy. That’s all you, Baker. She’s barely seen him for the last few months. You give him the love and safety that he needs. I hate that he lost his mother. I do. But I know without a shadow of a doubt that the Sinclair men are going to be just fine because you have each other.”
“And you. I can’t—I’m going to need you, Sloane. He needs you. The thought of leaving him with a stranger right now, I hate it, and I have to get through this before I can even think about interviews and finding someone new.”
“I’m here for as long as you need me,” I assure him. “Honestly, the chances of me finding a job this close to the school year starting are slim, so don’t worry about that. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”
He stretches out his arm above Camden’s head and opens his hand. I place mine in his, and he squeezes. “Thank you. I know this is asking a lot of you, but he loves you. I’m going to be gone a lot in the coming weeks, and then the season’s starting. I just need you to stay. I’ll increase your pay, whatever I need to do.”
“You pay me more than enough. More than what I was making as a teacher by far, and this little guy makes it easy. You can lean on me, Baker. Let me help you navigate this.”