Total pages in book: 61
Estimated words: 60904 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60904 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 305(@200wpm)___ 244(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
My heart squeezes. He ended up in the river because of me. We both could’ve drowned.
“What if I can’t keep you safe?” I ask, strained.
His fingers trail through my hair in a soothing rhythm. “It’s not your job to protect me.”
I shake my head. “Everyone I get close to gets hurt.”
No, that’s not right. It’s so much worse than that.
“They end up dead,” I whisper.
His thumb hooks beneath my jaw, so I have no choice but to look up at him.
“I’m not dead,” he reassures me. “I’m right here.”
I shake my head. He doesn’t understand.
His brow furrows. “If this is about your stalker killing Rich, I already told you it’s not your fault. Don’t blame yourself.”
I try to shake my head again, but he holds me immobile.
“It’s not Rich. Well, not only him. He’s not the only one who’s died because of me.”
Rand goes utterly still.
“My parents,” I admit shakily. “I caused their deaths.”
His features harden to a stern mask. “You were a child. How could you possibly be at fault?”
I force the confession through my constricted throat. “I was at a sleepover. There was a storm, and I got scared. I called them and begged them to pick me up in the middle of the night. They got caught in a flash flood.”
He refuses to release my face from his tender but steady hold. “It was a freak accident. You can’t control the weather.”
“It’s not just them.” I’m desperate for him to understand. “I don’t want to do it again.”
If he doesn’t kill me, my stalker wants to rape me. The last time that happened, I murdered two people to protect myself.
All these years, I’ve barely been able to live with it. Even if this twisted madman needs to be eliminated, I don’t want to be the one to end him.
“Do what again?” Rand presses.
The guilt bubbles up to the surface, and the truth pours out of me before I can think better of it.
“My foster brother…” I choke on the admission. “I killed him.”
Rand’s expression goes blank, but his fingers flex ever so slightly on my jaw.
“Carter…” I stumble over my bully’s name.
I had no love for him, but we shared a home. He was close to me, and he died. At my hand.
“Tell me what happened,” Rand demands.
My stomach churns.
His hand is gentle in my hair again, but his eyes flash. “You wouldn’t hurt someone if they didn’t deserve it. What did he do?”
“He…found me in the woods one night.”
I can’t talk about Brandon’s betrayal, how he told Carter where to find me. How he planned to share me.
Even after all this time, it’s still a knife in my heart.
Rand’s hand remains careful on my scalp, soothing. But he gnashes his teeth, clearly enraged on my behalf.
“Tell me what Carter did,” he growls.
“He wanted to…” I swallow against the burn at the back of my throat. “He hurt me.”
“Did he touch you?” The words are so rough they’re barely intelligible.
My hands are shaking, so I curve my fingers into his corded arms to ground myself to him.
“He did,” I whisper. “But I made him stop. I killed him. I didn’t mean to.”
I echo the pathetic excuse that’s been ringing through my head for five years, ever since I murdered the boy I loved.
Brandon’s name sticks in my throat. I can’t tell anyone about what I did to him.
“I’m a murderer.”
Strong fingers thread through my hair, gripping just tight enough to tip my head back.
“You didn’t do anything wrong. You defended yourself. That sick fucker, Carter, violated you. The world is a better place without him in it. You’re safer without him.”
Maybe that’s true, but it doesn’t absolve me.
“I’m poison to the people closest to me.” I barely breathe the harsh truth through the sharp pain in my chest.
“Not me,” Rand insists. “There’s nothing you could do that would make me walk away.”
“Why?” I ask, almost pleading with him. He’s not seeing reason. “We’ve only just met.”
He rubs his thumb over my mouth, and despite my pain, my lips tingle with desire for his possessive touch.
“Let me know you.” Maybe he’s the one pleading now. “Stop finding reasons to deny us.”
“I’ve just told you that I killed a boy.” I’m wavering. I can’t waver. “Doesn’t that scare you?”
“The only thing I’m scared of is losing you. You want to know why I’m desperate for you? We’re alike, Lena.”
My heart twists.
“Because we’re both orphans?”
His eyes tighten with his own pain. “You’re not the only one who’s killed to survive.”
I should be shocked by the revelation, but I’m not. Deep down, I’ve sensed that Rand is capable of killing to defend me. I’ve known it ever since he ran to meet me on the river path to protect me from my stalker.
He holds me closer, as though he’s afraid I’ll recoil from him. “Are you scared of me now?”