Total pages in book: 35
Estimated words: 33292 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33292 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
His and Clarissa’s marriage was arranged. They didn’t have a way out. When Clarissa was ten, and he was twenty years old, it happened. At the time, he’d been five years older than his intended bride. Not a large age gap.
Although, he hadn’t wanted to be married. He had been.
As one of the youngest among Diego, Giovanni, and Emilio, he had built a reputation fast. They had no choice with the Colombo Mafia. The men had to be strong and capable, otherwise, they didn’t survive. Everyone was always after a piece of flesh. Running a hand down his face, he tried not to think of the years his father had tried to tell him he wasn’t good enough. He fought for everything, and seeing him in that hallway today, his disapproval pouring out of him in waves, was enough to set his teeth on edge.
“I thought I heard you up,” Clarissa said, startling him.
“I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“It’s fine. I couldn’t sleep anyway,” Clarissa said, coming into his office. She was dressed in a pair of dark blue pajamas with white rolled trim around the outside. They were classy, and he figured she had made them. They were oversized, and it didn’t detract from how sexy she looked.
She took a seat on the chair opposite him. “You look angry.”
“Not at you. I’m just thinking about my dad.”
“He wasn’t particularly helpful today, was he?” she asked.
“You could say that, to put it mildly.”
Clarissa laughed. “Yeah, to put it mildly.” She offered him a smile. “After my sister died, all my parents could say to me was how much I didn’t measure up. I wasn’t the right daughter. I was the ugly daughter. The fat one.”
He closed his eyes. “You know, it makes me want to go and kill those fuckers.”
“They didn’t like how I was handling it. To them, it was nothing. My sister died in my arms, and still they didn’t care. It was something that happened, and now they had to deal with the consequences, as if it was this business deal.”
“Fuck them, Clarissa, and this business deal. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to live by them telling us what to do.”
“Does that mean you want to get divorced?” she asked.
“Fuck, no. I don’t want to get divorced. Do you?”
She shook her head. “No, I don’t. I just thought I would ask, in case that was what you were hoping for.”
“No, I’m not hoping for a divorce. I like being married to you.”
“Really? I mean, I am boring and old and dull.”
He shook his head. “You know, I was a fucking idiot. I didn’t know you, and trust me, now that I’ve had a taste, sewing is not boring or dull, it’s fucking amazing. Time-consuming and a pain in the ass, but it is amazing.”
Clarissa smiled at him.
“You don’t even realize how pretty you are, do you?” he asked.
Her cheeks started to heat.
“You know, I love looking at you, and watching you. I think you’re an amazing woman. I can’t take my eyes off you. You’re incredible.”
She licked her lips.
“And you turn me on.” He ran a hand down his face. “I wish I had shown you sex differently. I’d never been with a virgin and figured all that shit you see on the movies and read in the fucking books was fiction. I didn’t know it was going to be fucking painful the first time. I never wanted to hurt you.”
There was silence and he stared across the small space, and she didn’t look away.
“Why don’t you teach me?” Clarissa asked.
“Teach you?”
“We didn’t exactly get off to the best start, but that doesn’t mean we can’t figure this out. You don’t want to divorce me, and I don’t want to divorce you. This isn’t about duty, it’s about us. We’re learning each other, and one day you’re going to need a child, and I would like to be a mother someday.”
“You want to be a mother?”
“Yes, and even though I don’t know how, I don’t want to be in a loveless marriage. One day, I do hope I might be able to fall in love with you.”
He looked at her a little taken aback, because he wanted her to love him. No one had ever really loved him.
“Do you think you could love me?” he asked.
“Yeah, I do. Apart from some of the stuff you say to your friends, you’re okay.”
He couldn’t help but laugh. Putting his glass of scotch down, he looked toward her, then told her to come to him. She looked nervous at first, but then she climbed out of the chair, walked around the coffee table, and moved closer to him.
Clarissa stood in front of him, and he reached out, touching the tips of her fingers, then suddenly he grabbed her hand and pulled her onto his lap. She didn’t fight him, and he wrapped his arms around her, stroking his hands down her thigh. One of her hands went around his neck, while the other was held in the air, fingers clenched. He let her go long enough to take her hand and place it on his chest. “You can touch me whenever you want.”