Total pages in book: 35
Estimated words: 33292 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33292 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
They had a lot of fun, until it came time for lunch. Lorenzo had told the chef not to bother coming, so he took control and started to cook. She sat at the kitchen counter, watching him.
“Do you enjoy cooking?” she asked.
At first, he didn’t answer, and she tilted her head to see if he had heard her.
“Yeah, I do.”
“But you hire a chef?” she asked.
“I’m a busy man.”
“You know, I can help cook as well, if you’d like,” she said. “I mean, I don’t think you should fire him, but if there is ever a time you want to come home to a home-cooked meal made by me, I could do it. My grandma taught me.”
“She taught you a lot,” he said.
“She didn’t really have much choice. If it was left to my parents, I would have ended up in some kind of hospital.”
“You know, when you’re ready, you can tell me about it,” he said.
Clarissa looked up to see if he was being sincere or just offering a polite response, and she was surprised so see he was actually being genuine.
“I spent a lot of time with my grandparents. They taught me at home. I was homeschooled. Mainly because I was too scared to go out for a long time. I was worried about ... you know,” she said.
It was hard to talk about.
She kept seeing her sister in her arms. That fear, the pain, the loneliness. She felt like such a failure, but she was terrified of admitting it. She felt relieved that she’d been ... alive. That guilt ate away at her, because part of her wished she had been the one to go.
“You know, my parents were worried I was getting too old,” Clarissa said, blurting out something else, just so she didn’t have to think about her sister and remember the coldness of her body. How heavy she had gotten in her arms.
“Too old?” Lorenzo asked.
He’d marinated some chicken breast with chipotle and a few other spices, and it looked really good. He’d put the grill on to preheat, and on went the chicken.
“I enjoyed spending time with my grandparents. We watched older movies, and they taught me how to play cards. I know my grandmother was always worried I didn’t do things that girls my own age did.” Clarissa laughed. “Grandad would often complain and say there was no way I was going around kissing a bunch of random guys. Of course, she’d always complain and say it wasn’t what she meant. They never took me to fairs, or did things with others my own age.”
“Hold up, you’ve never been to a fair?” he asked.
She shook her head. She was rambling right now. The truth was, in the last few days, Lorenzo had been making her feel things she wasn’t used to feeling. She’d always been nervous around him, and it had never really been natural between them. His complaints about her had been a welcome relief, as horrible as it sounded.
It was easier to fall within herself. It was something she was used to. She knew how to handle that. Being a wife and trying to be everything just felt like a large weight.
The strangest thing of all, in the past few days, she had more fun than she ever recalled having. He was making her happy, and it was getting easier to smile.
And with that, she was afraid. What if all this was a lie? Was he just doing this for her to get over what he said? She didn’t know if she could trust him or not, and it terrified her.
Getting hurt. Before she died, her grandmother had told her to give this marriage a chance, not to turn her back on it, so that was what she was trying to do.
Was it? Or, did you just withdraw and only come out when you needed to? You hid in your sewing room. It was easier than getting to know someone. People always died on you.
“Babe, you okay?” Lorenzo asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine, and no, I’ve never been to a fair, nor have I ever made out with random guys. I just couldn’t. For the longest time, I couldn’t go outside.”
Lorenzo made their sandwiches.
“What happened that made you able to go outside?” Lorenzo asked.
She looked up to see him staring at her intently.
“My grandparents had the patience to wait for me. It started out slow, in their yard. Small steps onto the porch, and we built up to a picnic. Then we took long trips in the car, until eventually I was no longer overwhelmed by fear.”
It was a long road. All she could think about was how happy she had been just moments before the attack. It had been so unexpected.
Clarissa followed Lorenzo through to the dining room, and she watched as he put their plates down, although she didn’t hear them. The truth was, she felt like she was falling, being sucked down.