Total pages in book: 109
Estimated words: 107652 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107652 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
His hips thrust up as he kissed me dangerously deep, rocking his hardness against my bottom as I lay like a bride on his lap.
One of his hands slid down to the base of my neck, his thumb brushing my throat.
I moaned—
He.
Froze.
His eyes flew open and the desperation that’d gotten us into this mess shattered, replaced by blackest horror.
With a primal grunt, he shoved me off him, severing our connection.
I landed in an undignified heap on the floor, my heart smashing against each rib as if it wanted to escape its prison and fall back into his arms.
I scrambled away, panting hard, bashing into the coffee table.
What was that?
What had he done?
What the hell happened?
Lucien sat forward, bracing his elbows on his knees. He buried his face in his hands, his chest rising and falling as he sucked in lungfuls of air. His fingers flexed in his hairline like claws.
His chin tipped up, eyes glowing with fury. “How can you be so brazen...so shameless?”
“Shameless?” I blinked, trying to reboot my brain. “I don’t—”
“I told you I’ll never be with anyone in that way.”
“But...but you kissed me.”
“Get out,” he whispered, quietly, murderously.
Scrambling to my feet, I struggled to understand how I was at fault. “But—”
“LEAVE!”
Whisper leapt to his paws at Lucien’s roar.
My stress levels reached their limit, and I staggered.
I wanted to clear my name—to ensure this hadn’t gone irreversibly wrong, but I almost fainted there and then.
Lucien shot upright, clutching his chest as the metal disc beeped and flickered red. He grunted and almost fell to his knees. “GO! Get the fuck out of here!”
I fled.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?
What sort of curse had she put on me to make me abandon my strict promise never to go near a woman in this nightmarish place?
The moment her fingers had touched me, I’d lost all control.
The first press of her thumbs on the cords of my neck made every nerve in my body seize. The soft kneading of her fingers along my shoulders eroded all my fight. And the delicious scratch of her fingernails over my scalp completely undid me.
I was used to agony—its bite, its burn, its never-ending misery.
But her?
Her touch had been different.
She touched me as a human, as a man, and not the commodity I’d been turned into.
She didn’t deliver conditioned and expected pain but foreign and unknown pleasure.
I hadn’t even known what pleasure was until that moment. Until that terrifying, horrifying, wonderful fucking moment where she’d draped over me and pressed her cheek to mine.
She was the first person to actually give me something with no strings, agendas, or expectations.
I couldn’t handle it.
I couldn’t accept it—far too conditioned to pay a price I could never afford.
My fingers strayed to my mouth, my lips still stinging from hers.
Every moment, of every day, I braced for pain.
I’d completely forgotten what it was like to breathe without wanting to howl. I lived in a constant clench against the scalding fire, but somehow, the longer she touched me, the quieter that pain became. My blood stopped burning. My bones stopped scorching.
Her touch chased every nightmare back into whatever hell they came from, and I couldn’t do it.
I’d grabbed her before I could think.
I’d turned my head before I could stop.
I’d kissed her with every drop of fear and betrayal, fury and agony I’d endured.
I hadn’t been gentle.
I’d been savage and desperate and drowning.
And for one impossible heartbeat, my imprisonment vanished. No fire. No agony. Just silence and peace and her.
Which fucking petrified me.
Standing in the shadows beneath a weeping willow in the grounds of Cinderkeep, I balled my hands and reinforced my decision never to get close to her again. No matter how much she made me feel, I couldn’t let down my guard.
Even if she wasn’t Marcus’s weapon.
Even if she was exactly what she said with no ulterior motives, I couldn’t find comfort in her because the only reason she was in here was to make me trip. To make me fall into pleasure and connection and ultimately sex, which would eventually lead to pregnancy because Marcus would’ve made damn sure every girl he tossed in here wasn’t on birth control.
My teeth clenched as yet another horrifying thought crushed me.
Marcus’s aim was to breed me—to gain multiple Ashfall offspring.
He would happily give me a harem of women to do with as I pleased, yet...what if I actually fell in love with one of them?
What if I gave away the only part of myself that wasn’t owned by another, only for it to be used against me?
He could threaten me, hurt me, and make me wish to die a thousand times over and I would never break.
But trap my heart in love?
What would I be willing to do if it meant I could keep her safe?
Vague memories of my parents filled my head. I stiffened as the past that my mind had systematically done its best to erase reminded me of how love had caused their demise. How sibling affection had been used against them in order to keep each other alive.