Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 88182 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88182 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 441(@200wpm)___ 353(@250wpm)___ 294(@300wpm)
It burns through me in rage.
“That’s why you want to find him,” Deanna says, sniffling and wiping her eyes. “I’m so sorry, Prime.”
“Fontana hung us out that night. Alfonso found me a few days after it happened and shoved a wad of cash in my hands. He looked guilty as he did it. I’ll never forget that. Three hundred dollars for the life of my friend. I spent that money in a week. Wasn’t fucking worth it.”
“It wasn’t your fault though. You said you got him killed, but it wasn’t your fault at all. They were adults, Prime, and you were kids.”
“I know. Doesn’t change anything. I told him we’d be safe. I brought him along when I knew I shouldn’t. I got him killed, nobody else.”
“No, that’s crazy.”
I stroke her cheek, smiling to myself. “I’ve thought it a thousand times. I was fourteen, how could I carry that burden? But I do and always will, and that’s why I’m doing this. Now you see me for what I am. All that blood’s still on me.”
She kisses my cheeks and mouth as if she can clean it away, but that doesn’t change a thing. It doesn’t fix what I am, what I’ve been since Shawn died that day.
A monster, plain and simple.
There’s a reason I don’t fall in love, why I don’t have close friends who aren’t strong enough to protect themselves.
I bring death.
And if I keep following this path—if I keep letting myself tumble into her—I’ll bring it to my wife too.
“You know what you’re going to need?” She smiles, wiping tears from her eyes.
“I have a feeling you’re not going to say a blowjob.”
She swats my chest. “That meeting Carbone invited you to. You’re going to need help with that proposal.”
I snort, and lean back on the bed, hands behind my head. “You offering?”
“Absolutely. Who better?”
“Deanna—“
“Come on, I’ve been doing this for years already. I know your businesses better than anyone else.”
“The legitimate half at least.”
“And I have a feeling you’ll need some of that legitimate half too. We’ll blow them away.”
God, it kills me. She talks like this is a real investor meeting and not some dick-measuring macho bullshit. Fontana wants to make sure I’m not full of shit—he doesn’t care about distribution channels and profit margins—but she’s right, it won’t hurt to be prepared.
“This is as close as you get.” I cup her chin and tilt her face toward mine, squeezing gently. “Do you understand?”
“You think I want to get myself killed?”
“I mean it. There has to be a line.”
Her expression softens. “There’s always a line with you, isn’t there?”
“It’s not for me.” I release her and stare at the ceiling. It’s to keep you safe. But she knows that already.
If she hasn’t figured it out yet, she will soon.
I’m nothing more than a problem.
CHAPTER 23
PRIME
It’s like the floodgates open after that first night.
Deanna’s in my office morning to evening going over the meeting plan. Then she’s in my bed arching her back and moaning my name.
I sense the drift happening. I’m sliding toward her despite myself. I reach for her in the morning, finger grazing her hip to make sure she’s safe and sleeping, and the relief I feel when she’s still there is terrifying. What’ll happen if she’s gone? What will I do when this is all over?
I’m so fucked and so deep in denial that I refuse to let myself think about it.
“Would you please sit down?” Deanna’s checking herself in the mirror. Her dark hair’s slicked back and she’s wearing a gorgeous tight dress that shows off hints of her curves but is still appropriate for a business meeting. “You’re starting to make me nervous.”
“Wouldn’t want to do that.” I glance at my phone for the fiftieth time. “Carbone said we’d get the location an hour before the meeting. That’s in five minutes.”
“Relax.” She glides over and puts a hand on my arm, guiding me to sit on the edge of our bed. “We know the plan. We’ve gone over it a dozen times. There’s nothing to worry about. What do you think’s going to go wrong?”
I could list it all out. Deanna with a hole in her chest. Deanna with her skull blown to pieces. Deanna gasping for air, dying in my arms, staring at me with hate and accusation in her dimming eyes. She’s been murdered a hundred times or more in my dreams these past few days and it’s deeply fucking with my head.
“Nothing will go wrong.” I lean over and kiss her. She smiles back, not sure how to react. “I’m fine. I mean it.”
“You’re sure?”
“Impatient, but fine.” I have to be strong for her. She does a good job of hiding it, but she’s even more afraid than I am. I tug her close, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. “You’re right, we know our roles, and you’re going to stick to it, correct?”