Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 55263 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 276(@200wpm)___ 221(@250wpm)___ 184(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 55263 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 276(@200wpm)___ 221(@250wpm)___ 184(@300wpm)
She stiffened, then nodded. “Yeah. Of course.” She stepped back and reached for a towel, hiding her disappointment behind her damp hair. “I’m going to check on Mattie and then crash.” She wrapped the towel around her body and paused in front of me. “Thank you for coming for me.”
“There was never any other option.” I traced her jaw, her lips, then let her go.
I watched Ren’s jerky movements, the way she held herself so stiffly, and not for the first time, I wondered if it was fair to want a future with her when this was my life. She deserved more than constant danger, more than a twenty-four-hour security detail.
But that was a worry for another day.
Now it was time to admit to Valentina what had been done. To begin cleaning up the damage David had done to my organization.
And to start the process of packing up and going back home.
Chapter 29
Serenity
Iwoke up hurting. Every one of my muscles protested as I shifted beneath the sheets, a deep soreness settling into my bones. The pain was a memory that I wouldn’t forget anytime soon. The wounds would heal and the bruises would fade, but every hit was tattooed on my brain. My wrists throbbed and my ribs ached when I breathed too deeply. Bruises that weren’t there last night had made an appearance overnight.
I was in pain. Deep and pulsing physical pain. It wasn’t just my wrists and my ribs that hurt, but my back from being tossed in the back of that van. My legs from being curled under me when I was passed out. My head from…everything. But there was also heart pain.
The bed beside me was cold and empty. That realization hurt worse than anything else even though there was a part of me that wasn’t at all surprised. Last night when he said he needed to take care of things, I knew he was putting distance between us. So the final break didn’t hurt as bad.
Dammit.
I stared at the ceiling for far too long, blinking back the sudden sting of tears behind my eyes. I knew what those tears were about and the more I tried not to think about it, the sharper the tears stung. The more I thought about the why.
About the empty bed.
The cold and empty bed.
Of course Enzo wasn’t in bed. Our bed. He’d always been good at disappearing when things got too complicated. No matter how many times I told myself that this time was different—a lot—even I didn’t buy it. Sure, he was probably up late last night making phone calls and ensuring the DeRossi organization was in working order, but that wasn’t what this absence was about.
I felt it.
No, he was already pulling away. Already preparing to go back to his life in California.
“Ugh,” I groaned and rolled onto my side, pressing my face to the pillow so I could exhale through the tightness in my chest. I wanted to scream it out, to emote all over the place until I could present a bland expression when I left the room. This is what I get for letting myself believe. For wanting something I’d already lost once.
“Come on,” I told myself as I sat up and swung one leg and then the other over the side of the bed. And then I forced myself out of bed.
As soon as I stepped in front of the bathroom mirror, I wished I hadn’t. The bruises were in full, vibrant shades of blue and purple on one side. The angry red marks on my wrists seemed redder in the cold light of day. I winced when I touched them, turning away from the stinging pain. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and got dressed in short, robotic moves.
Today wasn’t about me. It was about Mattie.
He needed reassurance, he needed normal, and it was my job to give it to him. No matter how I was feeling. That was the job. Always had been.
Downstairs, the house was quiet in that soft, calm, early-morning way. Mattie was already downstairs and sitting at the table, an empty bowl in front of him.
“Mattie,” I said softly, my heart squeezing tight at the sight of his sweet face.
His face lit up when he saw me. “Ren!” He shot out of his chair so fast it almost toppled over. He ran to me, wrapping his arms around my waist with careful enthusiasm. “You’re okay, Ren.” He sobbed into my stomach, his little hands gripping my sweater so tight, like he was afraid I’d leave him again.
Not if I can help it.
I hugged him back gently, my heart squeezing in my chest until I couldn’t breathe. “Hey, buddy,” I murmured. “How’d you sleep?” I’d sat with him for longer than I’d planned last night with my hand on his back, just grounding myself in the fact that Mattie was unharmed.