Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 59022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 295(@200wpm)___ 236(@250wpm)___ 197(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 59022 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 295(@200wpm)___ 236(@250wpm)___ 197(@300wpm)
I want her again. I want to wake her up and make love to her until I’m all she can think about. I don’t want her to remember any other man but me.
I want to be the beginning, middle, and end for Charlie Lyn Horseman.
The only man she ever thinks of again.
And these feelings…
These feelings that are rushing through my body like a runaway train scare me like nothing else in this world. These feelings are the kind that can get you in trouble. The kind of trouble that ruined my dad’s life. The kind of trouble he warned me about.
Yes. True love shit on his Christmas parade so to speak. And I don’t need it shitting on mine, thank you very much.
Now I know why jolly old St. Nick wasn’t so jolly all the time. It was because the love of his life died from a horrible cancer that no Christmas magic could fix. How’s that for good karma?
Now I’m the fourth Claus in history to know this feeling. To really know it in the way that only the heir to Christmas magic can feel. Charlie is officially the fourth to be introduced to the elves, reindeer, village and most importantly the lore of my ancestors.
I didn’t hesitate to tell or show her my world. Bringing her here felt natural, almost like she was always meant to know it and even though she’s allergic (so to speak) to cold, she fits in like she’s always been here.
I think about all of this.
I know it all. What she already means to me, even though I don’t want to say or face it. I know she’s made for me.
But…
My father became a recluse after my mother’s death. Yes, he’s Santa and brings Christmas cheer to the world, but his heart’s been broken, and I didn’t even know how much it hadn’t healed but left a permanent scar until tonight. Now I know why he never remarried. Now, so much about him makes sense to me. And the sadness that would sometimes come over him now reverberates in my mind like a broken record.
The sadness is the part I want nothing to do with.
And here in lies the conundrum.
Cut your losses now, Stetson buddy… cut them so you don’t have to worry about heartbreak at a later moment in time. This is the logical side. The rational side of my brain talking to me.
And then there’s the other side.
The side that wants to show her the world. And give her everything it has to offer, not because I want to show off but because she deserves good things.
It’s the side that wants to take Charlie everywhere I go. The side that wants to share my life and family with her. That side is the one that won’t let me let go. That side is what tells me I’ll never forget her. I’ll dream about her. I’ll quietly watch her, when she doesn’t know I’m looking. I’ll keep tabs on her. I’ll know where she is. Who she’s with but safely from afar where I know I won’t be hurt.
But then…
Can I survive that?
Can I survive seeing her with another man? Seeing her happy in someone else’s arms, knowing that it’ll never be the same.
God.
How did this get so heavy so quickly? How is it so weighted when the woman in my arms doesn’t even know it’s already there in my head? I squeeze her a little too tightly and her eyes flutter open, the blue clashing into mine.
She smiles, embarrassed almost.
A perfect.
Adorable.
Goddess.
“You’re awake,” she whispers to me as I pull her closer into my arms, relieved almost that she’s pulled me out of my dark reverie.
I lean down and kiss her swollen lips.
Swollen because of me.
The sheer possessiveness that comes over me takes me aback. I’ve never felt such ownership over a woman before in my life. I don’t ever want to feel this way about anyone but her. Shit.
“I was just watching you sleep,” I tell her against her lips.
I can feel her smile before I deepen the kiss, only pulling back so I can look at her perfect face.
“The sky is so much more riveting,” she says.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything more riveting than what I’m looking at now,” I tell her.
She shivers in my arms. “Cheesy line but I like it.”
“Are you cold?” I ask, worried, pulling her closer into my arms.
She shakes her head, “no.”
“Then what?”
Her face curves into my neck and I know she’s feeling shy again.
“You’re just so handsome,” she whispers against my skin. “And…”
“And?” I prod, admittedly pleased with her words.
“And apparently you make me burst out into Christmas carols before screaming your name,” she says quietly. When I say nothing, she adds. “Come on, you know you’re sexy Santa on a stick— oh wow can’t believe I just said that out loud and yet here I am wondering how many licks does it take to get to the center of your—”