Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 128313 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 642(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128313 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 642(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
“We’re all sharing the load, remember?” Forrest said, and I nodded. It was going to take me a long time to shed the need to be the only one in control.
“I’m staying a few days, at least. I want to make sure things are okay here. I have some meetings too. Then maybe I’ll think about rejoining the tour.”
“Go spend time with Hallie. Watch her compete,” Genny said. “You deserve happiness, Jas. And Hallie is lovely.”
I smiled at my sister. It was actually nice, all my family knowing. A relief, really. These were the closest people I had in my life. Everyone who mattered to me now knew Hallie and I were together. It felt . . . right.
“What’s the tour like this year?” Genny said, and I studied her. There was an air of sadness around her that had been with her ever since her accident.
“The same, I suppose,” I said, but then added, “And not. Us two aren’t there, for one. It’s bothering Atticus.”
“Yeah,” she said. “Maybe one day we’ll have that again,” she said with positivity that I could see was forced.
“How is Dahlia?” I asked, and only silence met me. “That bad?”
“She’s no better, if that’s what you’re asking,” Genny said. “I think her getting trapped in the wire fence has put her progress right back.” She looked to Henry, Sebastian, and Aurelia. I could see that my sister wished Dahlia was back here with the family horses too.
I reached out and held her hand, saying, “I think I’ve found someone who can help us. He was recommended to me by an excellent source. He’s from Denmark. I’m talking to him about coming to help Dahlia heal from her trauma. He thinks he can be of assistance.”
“You have?” Genny asked, her voice a whisper. Tears built in her eyes. I stood and hugged her again. “I just want her happy. I don’t care if I can never ride her again. My wish is for her to be at peace in herself and not so afraid.”
“We’ll do everything we can, I promise,” I said. For you too, I wanted to add, but Genny didn’t like being fussed over. I kissed her head and sat back down.
“Fucking hell,” I said and ran my hand down my face. “I remember the days we would sneak into these fields with our fathers’ booze and get drunk. Now, we gather in them to plan how to defend ourselves against an unseen enemy.” I raised a pretend glass. “Here’s to getting older and having responsibilities. It’s bloody terrible.”
“Dickhead,” Forrest said, joking. Then he got to his feet. He went straight to Aurelia and kissed her on the nose. Sebastian came over and began kicking the gate at the lack of attention, and Felix laughed.
“His majesty is demanding a treat and affection too.” Felix got up to get him one—them all, really. One could not give a Knighton horse a treat in this place without the rest demanding one too.
I squeezed Genny’s hand, then made my way to Henry. Genny came with me. “He misses you,” she said.
“Way to make me feel even guiltier for not being here, Gen.”
She hit me on the arm. “I didn’t mean it like that,” she said. Then she watched Henry. “It’s as though he knows there’s a competition happening out in the world and he’s not there to show his prowess. He keeps jumping the fences between the paddocks as if to remind us how impressive he is.”
I laughed, but it broke my heart. I was dog tired, strung out, and wished I could teleport Hallie here from France just to hold her.
“You really like her, don’t you?” Genny asked, reading my mind.
I glanced down to my sister, leaning against the paddock’s gate. “That’s an understatement, Gen,” I confessed.
Genny held my hand and squeezed my fingers. “Finally,” she said, smiling. “It’s about time you let someone open that caged heart of yours. You deserve to have someone care for you in the way that you have cared for us all for so many years.”
Guilt consumed me. “I couldn’t protect you all, though, when it mattered. I failed. What if I fail her too?”
Genny’s expression hardened. “You’re not omnipotent, Jas. You can’t prevent bad things in life from happening. Even when we seem to get hit from all sides.” Genny shrugged. “We are blessed in life. Always have been. We can’t be happy for those blessings, then moan when we experience the bad. It’s a balance, Jas. We’re British, and we must keep calm and carry on, regardless,” she joked, but it was the truth too.
I was so proud of my little sister in that moment. I kissed her on the cheek. “Mum would be so proud of you, Gen. And we know Dad was.”
“Thank you,” she said. “Now, will you take me back to the house? I’m exhausted and want to stress-eat chocolate until I’m sick.”