Total pages in book: 28
Estimated words: 26140 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 131(@200wpm)___ 105(@250wpm)___ 87(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 26140 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 131(@200wpm)___ 105(@250wpm)___ 87(@300wpm)
I finally exhaled sharply. “I did, too,” I admitted quietly. “About my father. I thought about that and more, Ryder. But we were kids. You gave me somewhere safe to be.” Just being with him, even if we sat behind the barn and watched the sun set, had meant more to me than he'd ever know.
“Wasn't enough.”
“It was to me.” I still didn't move, afraid if I did it would break whatever was passing between us right then.
He shook his head. “You still had to go back home. Still had to deal with that motherfucker.”
I decided to hell with worrying about breaking anything. I rose from the swing and moved closer, stopping behind him. “Ryder.”
“He ran you off,” he continued, his voice lower now. “Put you on that bus and made damn sure you believed there was nothing here worth coming back for.” I could hear creaking, gripping and releasing the wood under his hands. “I couldn’t change that. Couldn’t make you stay. And you never reached out. Not once in fourteen years. That broke my fucking heart, Lila. But I understood, and I knew why you had to stay gone.”
I swallowed against the ache climbing into my throat. “I had to leave, and I couldn’t reach out… because every time I thought about you, it hurt too much. You were the only good thing I had here. If I let myself hold on to you, even from a distance, I was afraid I’d never be able to stay away, and I needed to, Ryder. So with every year that passed, I built another wall around everything associated with Rootstown Creek. Around this place, my piece of shit father, and you. I almost convinced myself none of it could still touch me.” The words were rough, but I was glad they were finally out in the open.
Ryder fully turned then, and the look in his eyes made my chest hurt. “I couldn’t keep you from disappearing, but I could make sure this place—what was rightfully yours—still stood. So that’s what I did.”
I stared up at him. “For fourteen years?”
“Yeah. Your father was worthless. When he was gone, I wanted you to still have a place that was yours—to do whatever you wanted with it.” He stepped toward me, not enough to touch but close enough that I had to tilt my head back to hold his gaze. “It was all I had left of you.”
The air left my lungs, and neither of us moved.
Fourteen years of distance stood between us, filled with every day I had forced myself not to remember this place. Every year I had convinced myself no one in Rootstown Creek had noticed I was gone, that no one cared whether I survived or where I ended up.
But Ryder had stayed. He had kept the ranch standing, not because my father deserved it or because the land belonged to him but because it had belonged to me.
“I don’t know what to do with that,” I whispered.
“Don’t have to do anything.” His voice rumbled out, and I had to reach out and grip the banister for support. “I didn’t do it to get something from you.”
“I know.” My voice broke slightly. “That almost makes it worse.” The corner of his mouth kicked up a fraction. “I don’t know how to accept something that doesn’t come with a price.”
Something in Ryder’s face changed. The hard lines remained, but his eyes softened as he lifted one hand slowly, giving me time to move away. When I didn’t, his fingers brushed a strand of hair from my cheek.
“Nothing I give you comes with a price.”
I looked at the man standing in front of me and saw the boy who had once been my safe haven. He was the teenager who left water and blankets in the barn because he knew I might need them when I had to hide. Ryder was the man who paid debts that weren’t his and repaired a house filled with memories he knew had nearly destroyed me.
All this time, I had thought the ranch belonged to my father, and maybe that was why I hated it. It held hard, painful memories. But it had also held some of the best ones… with the man standing in front of me.
My father had never loved this land. He had used it, neglected it, and nearly destroyed it. Just like he did with me. Ryder was the one who had cared for it and waited.
“I kept waiting for you today,” I admitted. His thumb swept softly over my cheek. “I told myself I didn’t care whether you came by, but I knew it was a lie.”
“Lila.”
“You didn’t come because you thought I might regret kissing you.”
His gaze darkened. “Did you?”
I shook my head and whispered, “No.” I stepped closer until barely an inch remained between us. “I didn’t kiss you because I was confused. I kissed you because I wanted to.”