Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 120186 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 601(@200wpm)___ 481(@250wpm)___ 401(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 120186 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 601(@200wpm)___ 481(@250wpm)___ 401(@300wpm)
“A mythical figure,” Mr. Lowry agrees before shoving a forkful of lettuce into his mouth.
At least it shuts him up for two seconds. I swear, it’s like we’re eulogizing someone who actually deserved it. I guess I’d better get used to pretending a lot of things don’t bother me.
Like the way my fiancé sucks down drink after drink while everyone else eats their salads. Mom said I could eat a real meal tonight, so I can hardly wait for my filet once this course is finished. I haven’t been able to eat much lately. It’s kind of hard to when I always have a knot in my stomach.
Jackson is just as disinterested in both me and the conversation as he was at the country club, only tonight he hasn’t even bothered with the pleasantries. From the looks his dad keeps shooting him, the elder Lowry is pretty pissed, not that Junior seems to care.
It won’t change anything. We’re stuck with each other. But what’s in it for them?
So far, it seems like we’re the ones benefiting the most from this arrangement. Well, not me. Mom wouldn’t promise more than she told me, would she? I mean, what else could she promise them? I have nothing left to give.
All evening, I study Jackson from the corner of my eye. Can I endure looking at him every single day? I guess if I’m lucky, we’ll have our own lives, and he’ll only have to trot me out in public for events and funerals.
He’s not bad to look at, though he’d be more handsome if he’d stop pouting like a teenager. Maybe I should tell him to smile. The idea inspires my own little grin. He seems like the kind of guy who would use that line on a girl.
The woman he grabbed at the country club wasn’t smiling. I’m not sure why, but I can’t get her out of my head. It’s not the flirting that got to me—I couldn’t care less. So long as I don’t end up with a disease or anything, he can do whatever he wants with whomever he wants.
No, it’s the way he grabbed her like he was entitled to her. No matter how I try—and I have—I can’t forget the surprise that flashed in her eyes. There might have been pain mixed in, too. He wasn’t gentle.
As I consider, he glances over the rim of his lowball glass, and our eyes meet.
He hates me.
I’ve never been so sure of anything. I feel it in my gut. I can almost taste it in the air.
He despises me. Not just the situation we’re in, but me, myself.
When I tip my head to study him further, the look he’d given me is gone, like he realized he let his mask slip. He’s really not trying all that hard to hide it.
“I’m sure Saint would make a lovely matron of honor, don’t you think?” Mom nudges me under the table when I don’t answer right away.
What was she saying about Saint? My brain finally catches up, and I make a noise in the back of my throat. “Yes, she’s the only person I’d want.”
“Roman’s daughter-in-law,” Mom explains.
God, she’s got balls. She can actually say his name like they were simply rivals. Using the Bishop name for credibility, making sure Lowry knows I have connections to a family that’ll still be powerful with or without Roman.
I’m disgusted enough to set down my knife and fork before my salad is finished. Pain lances through my chest. A realization. This is as good as my life is ever gonna get. All I have to look forward to are years of avoiding my husband, who hates me almost as much as I hate him. It makes me think of Elena, the woman who raised Kade.
No wonder Kade always described her as checked out.
Will that be me? Wandering around in my own house like a ghost?
Suddenly, I can’t breathe. “Excuse me, please.” My heart is thumping so hard it hurts, and it feels like a steer is sitting on my chest. I need air. Actually, I need a lot more than air, but I’ll settle for going outside.
The second I’m out the gilded double doors of the restaurant, I regret not stopping to grab my coat as the cool night air bites into my skin. The dress doesn’t cover a lot of it, leaving my arms and part of my back bare to the chill. It’s not all that bad. The cold reminds me I’m alive.
I pull in a breath, filling my lungs with icy air that tastes like snow and regret.
The coldness at least gives me something different to focus on.
My teeth start to chatter, and my fingers tingle with coldness, but it’s still better than sitting at that table and being crushed by my own heavy sadness. The door behind me opens with an almost silent whoosh. I don’t even have to turn around to know who’s there. It’s like I can feel him, and definitely not in the same way I can feel Kade.