Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75650 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75650 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
It is more than enough for now.
9
STACY
“You’re sure the weather will hold?” I ask Pashov as I peer out of the cave at the clear skies the next day. The weather is lovely—for Not-Hoth. It’s sunny and there are only a few fat flakes drifting on the breeze. Instead of Antarctic winter, it’s more like…Canadian winter. Still chilly, but not nearly as miserable. “As much as I like being here with you, I also worry we’re going to lose our window for travel. Maybe we should be traveling while the weather is good?”
“Rokan says the brutal season will wait a bit longer,” my mate says stubbornly from his place by the fire. He holds Pacy by the hands and is trying to get the baby to walk instead of crawl. Pashov looks over at me, a touch of hurt on his broad face. “Do you not wish to be here with me?”
“That’s not it at all. I love being with you.” I pull the privacy screen back over the entrance and move toward him. “Being here together has helped us reconnect,” I say, and touch his arm. “It’s been wonderful to have private time. I would love to stay in this cave for months on end if we could.” The little cave is big enough that we’re not tripping over each other, and just small enough to be cozy. It’s a little smoky at times, but I could be happy here. “I just worry about the travel. It hasn’t exactly been easy. I don’t want us to get stuck in the storms when they do come in.”
“Rokan is never wrong,” Pashov tells me. “He says it will be clear for longer, and my chief has given us four hands of days before they will come searching for us.”
“But you said it would take at least five days to get to the valley, right? Maybe six if we travel slow. That means six days here, and we’ve already been here four. I don’t want to cut it too close.” I stroke his arm. “I just worry.”
He gives me a knowing look. “You do not wish to cut it close, or you wish to see your new home?”
I laugh and feign lightness. “Am I obvious?”
Pashov smiles at me. “You like to keep a tidy cave, and this one is a mess.”
I glance around at the crowded little cave. Our gear is piled up in one corner, along with a lot of Kemli and Borran’s gear. We haven’t unpacked much, because I am acutely aware that we’re going to have to gather it all up again and cram it onto the sled. Because of that, we tend to have to step over rolls of furs and baskets of dried meat while we move around the cave.
That isn’t what’s bothering me, though.
Last night, after the oral-sex-a-thon, I fell asleep curled up in Pashov’s arms, content and happy and feeling like my mate was back. That things were starting to get back to rights in my world.
I woke up to the sound of his nightmares.
Sometime while I was sleeping, Pashov had moved me back to my own furs, and I’m not sure how I feel about that. Part of me thinks it’s sweet that he remembered to put me back, and part of me is disappointed that he didn’t hold me all night. I know he’s just following my wishes, though, so I can’t be mad. Pashov was asleep in the next room in his own blankets, and thrashed wildly.
Pashov has always been a heavy sleeper, and he’s never struggled with nightmares. Not since I’ve known him. Last night, though, he flailed and moaned in a nightmare until I woke him up. He sat bolt upright, eyes wide with terror, his skin beaded with sweat. When I asked him what was the matter, he murmured something about the cave falling in on him.
Then he promptly fell back to sleep.
After that, however, I couldn’t sleep. The restlessness isn’t like him.
I worry he needs the healer, after all. His memories haven’t come back, and with the nightmares, I’m scared he’s hiding a deeper brain injury. Or what if he has PTSD after the ceiling fell in on him? It’s possible, and I feel ill-equipped to help him through something like that.
I also worry that we’re vulnerable alone out here in a cave by ourselves. What would happen if there was another earthquake and something should happen to Pashov? It would be beyond devastating to lose my mate after such a near miss recently, but even more awful…what would I do to keep Pacy safe? I can’t just think about myself; I have to think of our child. I’d have to somehow hunt and survive and find the others.
Our existence is so fragile here.
But I don’t want to stress Pashov. I also don’t want him to feel like he’s not enough for me. If it was safe? If there were no worries? I’d miss the others, but I’d be perfectly happy spending the entire brutal season curled up in the cave with my mate.