Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 75650 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75650 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 378(@200wpm)___ 303(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
I am not whole at all.
3
STACY
In some part of my mind, I knew that the trek wasn’t going to be, well, a cakewalk. Of course, it’s a lot of walking, and the weather is crappy. But I didn’t really stop to think about just how much walking it was going to be.
And this is only day one. God help me now.
I’m exhausted. I’m exhausted, and my feet feel like wet blocks of ice. The wind—brisk and pleasant when it floats in from the cave entrance—is relentless out in the open. It feels like my face is scoured raw, and my lips feel tight and painful. My shoulders ache from where the straps on Pacy’s carrier are cutting in through the warm layers of fur.
And this is only day one.
Day one.
How am I possibly going to last until we get to the new camp? How am I going to do this? I don’t have a choice, though. So I put one foot in front of the other and try to think of happier things. Like chocolate bars and freshly baked cake with a buttercream frosting. Scrambled eggs. Pashov’s hearty belly-laugh when he’s delighted.
But then that makes me hurt, and so I go back to thinking about food.
I’m daydreaming about a spinach and feta cheese frittata when I realize I’m about to run into Aehako’s enormous sled. Kira’s perched atop it, Kae in her lap. Kira smiles at me, and she looks so happy and refreshed, and here I am, sweaty and gross and exhausted…
And for a brief, uncharitable moment, I really want to punch her. Or someone. Anyone. Everyone who got to hitch a ride today and I had to hike with a fat infant strapped to my back.
Well, I amend, I didn’t have to hike. Not exactly. Pashov would have pulled me on a sled. And probably tried to talk to me the whole time. And I’d probably have cried all day. And it would have been miserable.
But more miserable than walking? That’s debatable right now.
“Are we stopping?” I wheeze. I want to put my hands on my knees—or just collapse, because collapsing sounds nice—but I’ve got a baby strapped to my back. So I just put my hands on my hips and try not to pass out. Two years sitting around a fire hasn’t done me any favors at all.
“We are. Vektal put out the call a short time ago. They’re going to build a fire, and we’ll have some stew tonight.” Kira gives me a look of concern. “You all right, Stace?”
I’m still busy catching my breath, so I give her a thumbs up.
Suddenly, the weight on my back shifts, and I panic. Pacy gives a wail of surprise, interrupted out of his sleep, and in the next moment, I hear a low, firm, “Shhh.”
Pashov.
My heart hammers in my chest, and I force myself to remain completely still as he pulls our son free of his carrier. “Do you have him?” I ask, breathless in so many ways.
“I do,” Pashov says. “He is quite heavy.”
“He’s a big boy,” I say, and it feels like a boulder has been lifted off my back. I feel so much lighter. Almost better, but I’m still exhausted. I want to collapse right here in the snow and sleep for a week.
Pashov moves to where I can see him, and the sight of him with Pacy tucked high against his shoulder makes my girl parts go pitter pat with longing. Does he remember? Has the hike jarred his mind?
But the smile he gives me is tentative, and I suppose I’m still hoping for too much.
“Thank you,” I murmur.
He nods at Aehako, who is slightly sweaty from his day of hauling but still looks like he could go for miles longer. “Where will you set your tent?”
Aehako shields his brow and gazes up the hill. There’s a cluster of people gathered together, I see, and between there and here, a few hunters are digging out a pit for a bonfire. “Here is fine. Kira?”
“This works for me,” she agrees, and gives me a curious look. “Do you want to bunk with us, Stace? I’m sure we can make room—”
“No need,” Pashov says in a firm voice. “I will make a tent for Stay-see.”
I’m just as surprised as everyone else. “You will?” A tent of my own? It seems like such a luxury after days and nights of bunking with other people. A moment later, I feel strangely vulnerable. Is he planning on bunking with me? Is that why he’s been determined to talk to me today?
I don’t know if I’m hurt or amused. It’s like the man I love more than anything is a stranger…and yet not. It’s the most confusing thing I’ve ever experienced, and it’s hurting my heart so very much.
Pashov nods at Pacy, swinging him around to make him laugh. “I will make a tent for you next to Aehako and his mate. I will sleep with Harrec and the other hunters.” His expression darkens, and then he adds, “Not Harrec.”