Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 68478 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 342(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68478 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 342(@200wpm)___ 274(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
He blanches.
I hurt, deep down in my soul. “Oh.”
“It’s not you, Farli. It’s…me.” He glances around, as if he can see outdoors. “I can’t be left behind. I can’t. Not here. It’s so keffing cold that it makes me feel numb. The suns barely come out. And your people have little to no technology. I’m a mechanic—what would I do? I bring nothing to the table, no skills of value.”
“I do not care,” I cry out, my heart breaking. “You can still be my mate. I can teach you to hunt.”
Mardok looks sad. “If I stay here, I leave behind everyone and everything I have ever known.”
“If I go with you, I do the same.”
We are both silent. He will not stay and I…I am not sure I want to go.
MARDOK
The human Harlow will live.
That’s about the only good thing to come out of the afternoon. Niri finishes her work late in the day, and by that time, several of the tribe have arrived. Vektal and his wife are closeted with Chatav, and Trakan has made friends with a pair of hunters called Bek and Vaza. Two humans named Maddie and Lila have brought Rukhar to visit his mother, and Rukh has not left his mate’s side. Harlow looks better post-surgery, though a long strip of her orangey hair has been shaved away. She sleeps, with her family watching over her.
Farli has not spoken to me. Not since I suggested removing her khui. I had no idea she viewed it as an integral part of her life. I guess I’m still struggling to see it as anything other than a handy parasite. But to her, it has created a bond between us, and if she has it removed, we lose that bond. She doesn’t want to lose it.
I…I don’t want to lose her.
We’re at an impasse. I tell myself maybe I should consider staying here on the ice planet, but the thought makes me shudder. Left behind? Watch the ship depart, knowing I’ve been abandoned for good? The thought makes me sick in my gut. Staying here is a one-way ticket. There will be no rescue, not ever. I would be here for the rest of my life, eating meat and saying goodbye to the warm sunshine of a summer day. It would change…everything.
It is my worst fear, and yet…
And yet I am obsessed with Farli. I hunger for her. I might even love her, though it’s hard to say after only knowing her for a day, but is it enough to turn my back on everything I have ever known and embrace a primitive life? I don’t know if I am that man.
More than anything, I hate that I’ve hurt her.
Even now, I am drawn to her. She sits with the two human females. They stare at each other and their hands gesture, and after a moment, I realize it is a primitive sort of signal language that they all know. I approach, unable to stay away. “Do you need anything?”
The blonde one looks to her darker-haired sister and makes gestures. When she gets a response, she shakes her head. “We’re fine.”
Farli is silent. She will not look at me. I feel as if I have somehow betrayed her trust, and it does not sit well with me. Already I miss her cheery smiles and boundless joy. She should not be sad. Not ever.
“I, ah, noticed you gesturing,” I say to the blonde sister. “Is it a signal language of a kind? Do you need a language file to learn to speak Old Sakh? That’s what Farli and the others speak.”
“My sister Lila is deaf,” Maddie says. “We’re actually waiting to talk to Niri, to see if she can help.”
Oh. “Your sister cannot hear?”
The dark-haired one gestures something and smiles.
“Not a thing,” her sister translates. “But she does read lips a little. And guesses a lot.”
Lila smiles at me. She begins to gesture again, and Maddie translates, taking a moment between words for her sister’s signing to catch up. “She wants to know if you think Niri’s medical computers can fix it.”
“I would imagine so. I’ve never met anyone that suffers from deafness.” The thought of being unable to hear and struggling to survive on the planet seems like a double issue to me. I cannot imagine.
Her sister translates with a few gestures, and Lila keeps signing. “She says that it’s not a problem for her. That she doesn’t feel broken. But her son does not understand why Mama does not hear him. She would like to hear his voice.” Maddie gives me a rueful smile. “And she says her sister is pushing her to do it, too.”
“Her mate?”
“Not her mate. He likes her how she is. He is fine with whatever decision she makes. It is her life.”
I nod slowly, and somehow, I feel worse. Lila’s mate loves her enough to not care if she can hear him. He does not mind if she lives missing one of her senses, if that is what she chooses. And yet, the thought of staying behind on this planet…it fills me with an aching dread.