Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 79425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79425 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 318(@250wpm)___ 265(@300wpm)
“You’re my best friend.”
She shook her head. “Leave me alone.”
“Dammit, Kassie.”
“Don’t swear!” she admonished me.
“I want to be more than your best friend.”
She stilled. “What?”
“I didn’t like kissing Barb. She—it—felt wrong. She wasn’t you. Ever since she kissed me, all I can think about is kissing you. Because that feels right.”
“You want to kiss me?”
“Yes.”
“Then why don’t you?”
So, I did. And that became the start of us as a couple. We became inseparable. I hated leaving her at the end of the day, and sometimes we both snuck out to the grouping of trees behind the house and talked.
Kissed.
Explored.
Became each other’s firsts in everything.
Life was great. We had plans on a life together after we finished school. We both wanted out of Richton and were eager for a future in the big city, and at the age of sixteen, we were ready for the next step in our journey.
Then my mom died.
There was no warning, no sickness. She was alive when I left for school, and by noon, she had died of an aneurysm no one knew about.
I sat up, running a hand over my face, those memories still too painful to think about. I shut down for so long, lost without my mom. Kassie’s mom, Brenda, was amazing and let me stay with them, not even objecting when I slept beside Kassie at night, needing her close. The door remained open, but it was Kassie’s quiet support, her warmth, and her whispered words of love that I needed. She became more than just my rock—she was my world. My father was nowhere to be found. I hadn’t seen or heard from him since the day he’d walked out.
I would never have made it through that terrible time without Brenda and Kassie. Brenda let me stay, becoming a legal guardian to me until I was of age. For a long time, I felt as if I were living under a cloud, only partially aware of the world around me. It was during that time that I went into Toronto for a chance to be an extra on a show being shot there.
And I met Ed.
Once again, my memories took over.
He said all the right things, did all the right things. He met with Brenda and made her believe the same as I did—that he had my best interests at heart. She agreed to let me go, knowing if she said no, I would find a way to do so without her permission. I’d be eighteen in less than a year, and I was as stubborn as they came. She saw, I think, some of the spark back in my eyes—a glimmer of the boy I’d been before my mom died. She knew I had to try this.
I promised Kassie I would be back. That our lives and ideas would go on as we had planned.
She wept as I packed. “You’ll meet beautiful girls and forget about me.”
“Never.”
“You’ll become famous and wish you’d never made me those promises.”
I knelt in front of her. “I’ll be back for you, Kassie. I love you. But I need to do this. This could be the greatest opportunity of my life. For both of us. I can’t pass it up—it’s my dream. You understand that, right?”
“I thought I was your dream.”
I cupped her face. “You are. We are. But this dream will enable me to give us the life we fantasized about.”
She leaned her head on my chest and wept. “I love you, and I’ll miss you so much.”
“You can finish school. I’ll see if there is anything in LA for me. You can go to school there too for your degree if I decide to stay.”
“I guess,” she sniffled.
“We can adjust. It’s not forever, it’s just for now. As long as you’re with me on this, we can do this. I know we can.”
“I’m frightened.”
“Don’t be. Nothing is going to happen. I’m yours. You know that. I’ve always been yours.”
But she was right.
Everything changed, and for the first time in as long as I could recall, I was on my own, without my rock. Adrift more than ever and alone.
And I still was.
12
KASSIE
Once again, my night was restless. Endless dreams of Oliver kept me tossing and turning. Fractured memories, things I hadn’t thought about in years, drifted through my mind. Laughter we shared. Private jokes no one else understood. Tears we’d dried for each other. Pain we’d shared. Moments of intense passion. Secrets and hopes we’d talked about in the dark of the night. Fears we’d confessed to each other we’d never breathed to another soul.
And the love.
Young, rich, filled with promise.
Until it was over.
I sat up, rubbing my aching temples. The what-ifs had started along with the memories I had buried.
What if I had kept writing?
What if he had called?
What if I had flown there as I wanted to one summer? Found him and demanded to know why he’d stopped loving me. Would he have told me everything and we could have found our way forward together?