Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 71698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71698 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 358(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
What if Matt or one of the guys went out to blow off steam? They could have been driving too fast. Or driving just right, and someone else hit them.
Why won’t my phone stop ringing?
Carissa shoves herself off and vaults over me. She’s all sleek, muscular grace as she grabs my phone and brings it straight to me. She sets it in my palm and says, “Answer it.”
“If I answer it, we might have to leave here. The time I promised you, the time I set aside for us, might be over.”
Pain flashes across her face, but it’s replaced with steely determination. It’s a reminder of how physically strong she is and how mentally tough she is too. “Whatever it is, it’s clearly important. If we have to leave, then we have to leave. It will be disappointing, but it doesn’t mean we can’t come back or that we can’t have other private moments. We will. Soon. We’ll make time for them, even if we’re busy. There’s zero chance of me standing in the way of you taking that call. My feelings won’t be hurt. I’ll be okay. We both will. You’re never going to have to choose between your life, the people you care about, the band, the music, your heart and passion, and me. I won’t allow that. There is no choice. We’re us if we want to be us. Always.”
This.
My heart swells, even as it leaps into my throat and beats too fast when I stare at the unknown caller ID on the screen. None of the guys has listed numbers. I don’t either. For the most obvious reasons.
I hit answer and wait a second. I’ve known Matt for so long that I can recognize him by the sound of his breathing.
“Can we talk?” That voice doesn’t belong to pissed off, wary Matt. The Matt who is so utterly sick of me that he can’t remember why we did this together in the first place.
“Sure.” It’s a guarded reply, and I can tell he hears it in my voice.
“In person?”
“I’m not at home right now,” I say.
“When are you going to be there?”
“Uh, in a few days?”
“Why does that sound like a question? Where are you?”
I hesitate, looking over at Carissa. She’s nothing but encouraging. Just in case her expression wasn’t enough, she squeezes my shoulder. “Can you hold on? Just give me a minute.”
I can’t have this conversation while I’m still half naked. I get myself sorted, pulling my pants back in place. Carissa collects her clothes off the floor and slips into them, then she pours us two tall glasses of water from the water cooler in the corner and brings them over. I chug the whole thing back gratefully.
She sits down beside me and threads her fingers through mine, then leans over and kisses my forehead. “This is a good thing. You can tell him where we are.”
After the glass of water, my voice isn’t like sandpaper grinding against metal. I take the phone off hold. “Sorry. I’m back. I just had to get something to drink.”
“Are you with someone?” Matt probes.
His words are heavy with surprise. He doesn’t know that the thing with Alicia wasn’t real. No one does except Carissa and Alicia herself. He was surprised when we got together out of the blue. I think he might have figured it out if he’d taken the time to do it.
“I’m with someone, yes. I’m in Reno.”
“Reno? What the fuck? You don’t even gamble.”
“What’s going on, Matt? You can talk to me. It doesn’t matter where I am.”
“I wanted to tell you that I’ve been approached by a few different bands. One gave me an offer that I’m going to take.”
Carissa immediately presses her shoulder into mine for support. She puts on a brave face for me, one filled with understanding, sadness, and sympathy. I rake my hand through my damp hair. I don’t want this to be a bad thing.
“Good. I’m glad,” I say, and I mean it. “You’re a great musician. You should be out there doing what you love.” My chest rises and falls.
I wrap my arm around Carissa and tuck her in against my side. She shuffles even closer until we’re pressed so tight that our bones are jammed together. I love it. Her nearness is reassuring. I don’t know what else Matt is going to say, but whatever it is, I’m not alone in dealing with it.
I’ll be okay.
I’m safe.
I’m right where I never knew I needed to be until I found it.
The line has been silent all this time. I know Matt, and this isn’t the kind of conversation he wants to have on the phone.
But I don’t break it. I can tell he needs time to get it out.
I listen to his deep breathing in silence until he’s ready.