Total pages in book: 152
Estimated words: 147545 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 738(@200wpm)___ 590(@250wpm)___ 492(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 147545 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 738(@200wpm)___ 590(@250wpm)___ 492(@300wpm)
We head to the shower after.
It’s a tender reunion, his hands in my hair and all over my body. He touches me just to touch me and kisses my skin just to feel it against his mouth.
I tear up a little when he pulls me close and holds me, but they’re not sad tears. If anything, they’re gratitude. I know I could live several lifetimes and never come across a love like this in any of them, but I get to have it in this one.
After we shower, neither of us bothers with clothes.
We curl up in my bed together, and finally, we talk.
“So,” I say, lazily tracing circles on his chest as I peek up at him. “You slept with Nina last summer?”
He knows that won’t be a popular action, and his grimace reflects it. “Yeah.”
I crack a smile. “Why?” I ask simply. “You told me you weren’t even attracted to her.”
“I’m not. Trust me, I’m not. But it wasn’t… life was different before you, Cassie. I hooked up with girls when the mood hit me, but none of them meant anything to me. It was purely a physical release. Nina just happened to be there. She was a body.” He shrugs. “It’s not pretty, but it’s the truth.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I knew you wouldn’t like it. And it didn’t matter. It wasn’t worth disappointing you over.”
I take a slightly deeper breath, then ask, “When I asked if you were the one who raped me, why didn’t you just say no?”
He shakes his head, his gaze drifting to my shoulder. “I don’t know, I was shocked. I should have. We could have avoided all this. I’m sorry.”
“I’m glad we went through it,” I admit, sliding my hand up his shoulder.
His brow furrows slightly. He didn’t expect me to say that. “Why?”
“I think it made us stronger. It made me feel… differently about some things.”
Brow still furrowed, he asks, “What things?”
I lick my lips, my tummy tumbling because I don’t know how to approach this. “I always believed it was Tim that night. I mean, why wouldn’t I? Even he admitted it was, he just pretended it wasn’t rape.” I meet his gaze. “It was.”
He doesn’t flinch. “I know.”
I nod, my gaze dropping to his chest. “But thinking for a moment that it might have been you…”
I try to form the words, but they’re too twisted. I can’t get them out.
Tor catches my chin, lifting my gaze back to his. “Say it. I told you, you can always tell me anything. Whatever you need to say, I can take it. Don’t hold back.”
I release my breath, looking up at him. That was exactly what I needed to hear.
“There’s a tiny part of me that almost wishes it would have been you. I probably wouldn’t have wished that then, but knowing what I know now… I would have preferred to go through it all with you. And I think you would have taken better care of me afterward.”
He sighs this time, but it’s not relief. If I didn’t know better, I’d think it might be guilt.
He cradles the back of my head, pulling my body against his. “I would have,” he says solemnly, holding me tight.
Tears well up in my eyes, but they’re from an old wound that doesn’t hurt as much anymore. I don’t want him to see them and think I’m crying for any reason that’s his fault, even if it is. I don’t want him to feel bad, just like he doesn’t want me to feel bad.
Maybe I should, but I don’t care what I should do or what I should feel.
And that’s new for me.
When his grip on me loosens, he pulls back enough to look at me. Then he dips his head, his lips finding mine in a kiss that’s part comfort, part apology. I soak up the comfort. I don’t need the apology.
“I don’t want you to hold back with me, either,” I whisper before I lose my nerve. “If there’s something you need that you’re not getting from me, I want you to take it.”
His mouth stills. His body does, too.
“I trust you,” I tell him softly. “I know that you’ll always take good care of me. You can always have my body, Tor. Any time, any way that you want it.”
He reinflates, his fingers greedily sinking into my hair. His cock hardens against me, so I know he likes what I’m saying.
“And there’s one more thing I have to say,” I tell him. “I know you think I was attracted to your brother, and maybe I was, but… I had no problem saying no to him. I could never say no to you.”
With his hand splayed on the back of my head, he pulls me in until our lips are close enough to touch. But before he kisses me, he rumbles, “And you wonder why I’m so fucking obsessed with you.”