Total pages in book: 126
Estimated words: 116231 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 387(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 116231 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 581(@200wpm)___ 465(@250wpm)___ 387(@300wpm)
“I want to know what is going on right now,” I reply and he laughs.
“I’m cooking you dinner, well, us dinner, and then I’ve got to thank you for coming with me.”
“I’m still not doing anal.” I make the joke as I pull out the stool and watch him work in my kitchen. It takes him forty minutes to plate our steak and veggies, which is the most delicious meal I think I’ve had.
My phone dings the next day and when I open my eyes, he’s already out of bed, walking into the room with a cup of coffee. “Here you go.” He puts it down on the table beside my bed, already dressed. “I’m going to head out.” He bends to kiss my neck gently. “I have the kids tonight and I leave tomorrow for a couple of days.”
“Okay,” I reply, blinking my eyes, “have fun.”
He laughs. “I’ll call you later.”
“I thought we discussed this.” He just kisses me again and I put my hand on his face.
“Have a good day.” He gets up and walks out of the room. I wait for the door to close and then look up at the ceiling.
I swallow down the lump in my throat before grabbing the coffee, knowing this has gone on a bit longer than it should have. I’m not sure what we’re doing and if I’m really even ready for something like this.
I pick up my phone and see there are a couple of messages that have come in from the girls.
Lexi:
Impromptu girls’ night. My house Saturday.
Ariella:
Me and the child will be in attendance.
Zoey:
I’m game.
Gabriella:
I wish, I’m not in town.
Me:
I’ll be there.
The office is quiet since Lexi is working from home. I spend most of the day looking out of the window, thinking about what the fuck is happening right now in my life. The conversation we had that night at the cabin plays over and over in my head. It was the perfect time for me to tell him that I’m not ever going to get married or have children. But instead, I chickened out and took the safe route. I mean, I don’t think he wants to get married anyway, but he definitely is a relationship kind of guy, and I know I’m not.
He calls me a couple of times during the day, each time I decline and then send him a message. That night I cave when he calls me after eight, and we spend two hours on the phone, and the plan I had to ghost him doesn’t happen.
I walk into the impromptu girls’ night with a bottle of wine. “Hello,” I call out as I watch the girls all sitting around the coffee table in the family room.
“Oh.” I look at the spread of pizza boxes, sushi, and a couple of Chinese takeout containers, with a bowl of chips right next to salsa. “I see we couldn’t decide on what to eat.” I laugh, kicking off my shoes and looking up at the television screen, seeing the hockey game playing.
“Look who it is,” Ariella teases with a huge smile. “I forgot what you looked like.”
“Oh please, I posted two pictures on my social media and you liked both of them.” I grab a chip and dip it in the salsa before popping it in my mouth.
“That view was amazing,” Zoey says. “Who did you go there with?”
“A friend,” I answer, not naming the name and looking at Lexi, hoping she doesn’t say his name either.
“Like a girls’ trip?” Zoey asks me and I nod.
“It was a wellness retreat,” I explain and Lexi’s head whips to me. I turn to look at her, knowing she just put two and two together. “I don’t want to talk about it,” I say and now Zoey’s interest is piqued. “It’s nothing and it’s just fun.” Even saying the words I feel like I’m going to be sick. It’s starting to be more than nothing. It’s starting to be a relationship, and it’s starting to scare the shit out of me. I know I should just end it and walk away, but every time I’m about to, he makes me smile or he makes me laugh, and it’s just not the right time.
“I thought about something for you two,” Zoey says to me and Lexi, shifting the conversation. “The kids and I were at the park the other day and it got me thinking.” I look at Lexi when she trails off.
“Is she going to tell us, or are we going to play twenty questions?” I ask her, taking a piece of sushi and putting it into my mouth.
“Why don’t you guys do a community garden?” she suggests. “Like pick one of the shelters that you want to partner with, and you can have it close to them.” I look at Lexi, who looks at me. “It would get everyone out and you can do a garden of veggies. Plant a couple of trees.”