Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 152064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 760(@200wpm)___ 608(@250wpm)___ 507(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 760(@200wpm)___ 608(@250wpm)___ 507(@300wpm)
“You care about Tally,” Dred points out.
“It’s not the same! I loved Fiona, and I believed that she loved me. We were in a committed relationship.” We stayed together for the rest of high school but went to different universities on opposite ends of the province. We reconnected in my last year when she moved back, but that went sideways. Fiona broke more than my heart when we ended the second time. It was gutting to have the person I loved tell me she didn’t want me. But it was so much worse when she dug the knife in deeper, telling me no one would ever want me for me, and that I was only good for two things: money and my ability to make her come. She created unhealable wounds when she left me, and I’ve spent the years since terrified to give my heart to someone else and find out she was right all along.
“Tally only wants me because I’m good at sex, not because I’d be a good boyfriend.”
“Is that what she said?”
“Basically, yes.”
Her expression shifts to empathy. “Do you really believe that?”
“She said I could probably make her come.” It’s gutting to have her see me like that.
Dred blows out a breath and shakes her head. “She’s not wrong, though, is she? University guys are not great at that, in her experience.”
“I don’t want to talk about Tally’s experiences with the dickheads she dated!”
Dred arches a brow.
“She’s too important to be treated like some bunny I picked up at a bar! I will not indulge in meaningless sex like I used to, I’ve come too fucking far to go backwards.”
She holds up a hand. “What if what you heard Tally say and what she meant aren’t the same? She left pretty flustered, Flip. What if she does want you, but she’s scared to ask for that?”
I shake my head. “She doesn’t.” She can’t. “I have too much baggage.”
“Everyone has baggage. And what if she does want you, what then?” Dred repeats.
I swallow. “Her dad is my coach. We’re friends. It doesn’t matter what she thinks she wants. It’s literally the worst idea in the world. All our friends are interconnected. The risk is way too fucking high to even consider. I haven’t had a relationship of substance since I was twenty and that ended horribly. I can’t afford to entertain these kinds of thoughts about Tally. I’ve known her since she was a teenager.”
The team has always looked out for her. Protected her. I’ve protected her.
“Do you disapprove of Hollis and Hammer, then?”
“No, but that’s different.” Although I suppose it was equally complicated. Hollis is twelve years older than Hammer and her dad’s best friend.
“Do you just want it to be different?” Dred presses.
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “You’re worse than my therapist!”
“You can pay me a hundred and fifty bucks an hour to ask you questions you already know the answers to, if it makes you feel better,” she offers cheekily, but her voice softens, and her expression shifts to empathy. “I understand that you have always had Tally’s safety in mind, and you’re probably reeling because you’ve been trying to keep her inside a space she doesn’t fit into anymore. It’s also clear that she hit you in a sore spot without realizing it, probably because she was nervous and babbling. I think this is less about the request coming out of left field and more about being afraid of what this could actually mean.”
I frown. “She’s off-limits.”
“She won’t be forever.” She squeezes my hand. “She’s had a thing for you for a long time. When Tally was a teenager, it was sweet. Now she’s an adult, and even if you don’t want it to change things, it does. We also both know you have two eyes in your head, and a heart in your chest, and you’re not immune to her.”
I shake my head as I move to the Battleship table. “I need to stay away from her, Dred. She needs time to come to her senses.”
CHAPTER 3
TALLY
“Three minutes and we’re on.” Arya does a full-body shimmy.
“We’re going to be amazing.” I shake out my hands and do a few deep knee bends. This showcase is worth twenty percent of our final mark this semester. It’s another step closer to where I want to be; a graduate on my way to becoming a professional dancer. Top performances tonight mean first choice of studio time in the beginning of semester two, which is huge, so I’m manifesting good things.
“We’ve got this.” Charles and I fist bump.
The rest of the ensemble echoes our excitement.
Tonight we’re performing a modernized, full ensemble version of The Nutcracker. Every performance is preparation for our final showcase of the year. In second semester, we’ll dance as part of a full-class ensemble like we are tonight, as well as with our troupe, plus a solo number.