Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 152064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 760(@200wpm)___ 608(@250wpm)___ 507(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 152064 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 760(@200wpm)___ 608(@250wpm)___ 507(@300wpm)
My mouth falls open. That’s a jagged, raw wound I won’t recover from.
She skirts around me and rushes down the hall.
I want to go after her, to tell her she deserves better. I could explain that I can’t give her what she wants without losing a part of myself, but nothing I say will soften that blow. And she has no idea she’s ripped open a never-healed wound.
I stand in the hallway for a long time, letting the self-loathing seep in. I deserve to feel this shitty. I’ve hurt people I care about with my past behavior, so this is retribution. I spent my twenties avoiding anything with depth, and I won’t go back down that road. Not for anyone, and especially not for my coach’s fucking daughter, who I care deeply about. Maybe more than I realized based on the ache in my chest.
When I finally return to the living room, Tally is gone. Dred Grace, who knows me best in this crowd, gives me a questioning look as I sink into the couch. I feel awful for so many reasons. Especially when Hammer mentions how stressed Tally seemed before she left.
I search for the winter showcase at Tilton U. I might not be able to give Tally what she wants, but I can still show her that I care. “Who needs a ticket for Tally’s performance?”
“We have ours.” Hemi motions to the girls.
“You guys in?” I ask my teammates.
All the guys agree, so I secure our tickets.
Eventually everyone starts to disperse, and I follow my friends to the door.
“You okay?” my sister, Rix, asks as she pulls me in for a hug. “You seem preoccupied.”
“Yeah. All good. Just thinking about practice.” It’s not untrue. I keep thinking about how dead I’d be if I’d said yes to Tally’s request and Coach Vander Zee found out.
Dred, Connor, and I file into the hall and pile into the elevator. I live in the building down the street, while Dred and Connor live in a mansion his Meems owns on the edge of the city. They got married last fall.
“Up for a game of Battleship?” Dred asks as we make our descent.
It’s what we play when one of us needs to talk something out.
I glance between her and Connor. “Do you have time for that?”
She turns to Connor. “You’re okay to pick up Everly and Victor?”
Dred and Connor adopted teenage twins earlier this year. I’ve never seen her happier than when she’s with him and those kids. The twins were in foster care, just like Dred growing up, and she wanted them to have a home with stability and love.
“Of course, darling. We’ll go for cake, and Everly will convince me to take them shopping, where I’ll buy them something outlandishly impractical.”
“This is why you’re their favorite.”
“You’re their favorite, and mine.” He kisses her softly. “Message when you’re ready to come home.”
We reach the lobby and Connor heads in one direction, while Dred and I go the other. We cross the street and take the elevator to my floor. I let us into my apartment, and Dred sets up Battleship on the kitchen island while I pour us glasses of Tang.
“What happened with Tally?”
I grip the edge of the counter. “She asked for help with something, and I had to say no.”
She gives me her full attention, eyes lit up with curiosity. “Would you like to elaborate, or should I guess?”
I drag my eyes away from the Tang. “She propositioned me.”
“As in…”
I choke out the words. “She asked me to take her virginity.”
Her eyebrows pop. “Oh wow, she’s got balls.”
“It’s not funny.”
“I’m not really laughing.”
I run a hand through my hair. “She’s ready to throw her virginity away like it’s an old shirt!”
“She’s been holding out for a long time, so that’s not quite accurate.” Dred props her hip against the table. “Tell me, Flip, how old were you when you first had sex?”
I shake my head. “I’m a—”
“Do not finish that sentence if it ends with some gender-normative stereotype,” she warns.
I clamp my mouth shut, because that’s exactly what I was about to do.
“I was seventeen,” Dred confides. “It was with a guy I’d been dating for a month, and we broke up three weeks later. I was not in love with him, but I was in lust. We had great chemistry, and I thought it would be good. It wasn’t the best, but it also wasn’t the worst. We were fumbly, and it was awkward, but it did get better after the first time. Could I have waited? Sure. But I liked him, and he liked me, so I made the choice, and I don’t regret it.” She makes a you-have-the-floor motion. “Now, how old were you?”
I huff. “Sixteen. But it was my ex, and we’d been together for months by that point. We cared about each other.”