Total pages in book: 31
Estimated words: 29381 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 147(@200wpm)___ 118(@250wpm)___ 98(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 29381 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 147(@200wpm)___ 118(@250wpm)___ 98(@300wpm)
“Bram says Mathias has honed in on the identity of the Untouchable. Bram and Duke are trying to get her into hiding before he succeeds. Either way, the danger to you is past.”
And so is my reason to stay. Raiden is clearly eager to send me on my way.
“I’m sorry for her, then.”
“Indeed. Would you like coffee? Breakfast?”
Before he drops me off and leaves me forever? “No, thank you.”
He nods. “I’ve already talked to Blackbourne’s household staff about taking over the rest of your family’s burial. They will work with you. The bodies are being transferred now, so you needn’t trouble yourself.”
I swallow down my rage and guilt and endless sadness. My parents and my brothers are being carted off and buried by strangers while I stand here, pretending to be practical. The emotions swirl together, making my stomach pitch and roll.
Biting back tears, I place my hand over my belly, where the life Raiden and I created together rests. My parents will never know this child. My brothers will never be uncles. And Raiden will never know his son. I can never share the joy of parenthood with him. Desperate tears burn my eyes.
“Thank you,” I choke out, then look around, realizing I have no reason to delay the inevitable. “I have nothing to pack or take to Sean.”
Raiden shakes his head, clenching his jaw as if he holds back pain. “The lucky bastard needs nothing more than you.”
More tears sting my eyes, and I stare up at the ceiling, willing them away.
But nothing can stop them.
“Can’t we...” What? Find some way to be together, yes. But how? I have no idea.
“No,” he bites out. Then he kicks the bed with a roar of frustration.
The mattress lurches across the floor before sliding to a shuddering stop. It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him lose control. And the sight guts me because it means he’s breaking, too.
“Raiden—”
“I said no. The last thing in the world I want to do is let you go. But you saw Mathias yesterday. He and his Anarki are relentless. They’ve already attacked us at Bram’s manor and burned it to the ground. We’ve engaged him and his followers in battle repeatedly. It’s only a matter of time until the casualties mount up. Marrok, Caden, Ice, my fucking twin… They all have mates, and I don’t understand bringing them into this danger.” He shakes his head. “But none yet have a coming youngling. If this fight with Mathias drags on for decades, as it did during his first reign of terror, then raising a child constantly in danger… No. Besides, I don’t know how to care for you the way you deserve. And you…you deserve everything.”
I cup his face in my hands, willing him to understand. “You care for me in every way I could want, Raiden. If not for the baby, I would do whatever it took to stay with you.”
“And God help me, I would probably let you.” He grabs my shoulders. “I’m so damn weak where you’re concerned.”
I caress his cheek, and he closes his eyes, a shudder racing through him.
Then he leans down and presses a lingering kiss to my mouth, soft, full of regret and good-bye. “I love you.”
I feel those three words light up my whole body. The air leaves my lungs. He loves me? Really? Yes, the truth is there in his blue eyes. He looks straight at me, not blinking, not flinching. Finally, he lets me see how much I mean to him.
And it ruins me. Completely.
“Why now?”
“Because I’m selfish. You’d get over me more quickly if you believed I didn’t care, but I can’t stand you thinking that I’m too much a bastard to love you. And because there’s a part of me that hopes you never forget me.”
“Never,” I vow. “I’m praying our youngling has your eyes so I can look at him and remember you each day.”
I hold back a sob. God, this is tearing me up inside. While I’ll be safe and protected with a man who will watch over my youngling and me, Raiden will be alone, fighting the war that most of magickind is too cowardly to wage. And he’ll likely die knowing that once Sean Calls to me and I speak the Binding, I’m lost to him forever.
He’s causing himself immense pain to ensure my well-being. As much as I hate the situation, I love him even more for his sacrifice.
“Don’t do this. I’m willing to risk the danger to stay here with you.”
He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “I’m not. Your safety—and the youngling’s—means more to me than…anything.”
Damn it, under his manwhore facade, he has a pure, noble heart. “But you won’t be safe.”
Raiden shrugs. “All I ask is that you remember me. Tell our youngling about his father, please.”