Total pages in book: 118
Estimated words: 113270 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 566(@200wpm)___ 453(@250wpm)___ 378(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113270 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 566(@200wpm)___ 453(@250wpm)___ 378(@300wpm)
Still, the thought of it now—of the possibility—hits me somewhere deep and shaky. Because, if this test is positive, it means something inside me decided I was ready before I ever said I was.
And maybe that’s the scariest part.
I exhale slowly and try to steady myself by bracing my hands on the bathroom sink.
I shouldn’t be here.
If my father hadn’t died, if he’d done right by the years I gave him and Bishop Galleries, I’d still be in New York. I’d still be busy, sharp, untouchable. And you’d still be pretending that chasing artists and investors and building an empire meant you weren’t lonely and subconsciously craving a life that felt like living.
I sigh. Bottom line, if my father hadn’t died, I wouldn’t be in Red Bridge. I wouldn’t be in Tad Hanson’s orbit. And I wouldn’t be standing in Josie’s bathroom with a pregnancy test on the counter.
And yet, here I am.
Whatever this thing is between Tad and me, I’ve been telling myself it’s light and uncomplicated. I mean, casual is what we said from the start.
But maybe it never was…
God, what will he say if this test is positive?
What will I say? What will I think and feel?
Checking my watch quickly, I note the time that’s passed and blow out another audible breath. There’s about a minute left—a minute to wait on one of the scariest answers I’ve ever dared to ask for.
My phone buzzes in my purse, and I dig it out to look at it.
Tad: You okay? I’m worried about you.
Yeah. I’m worried about me too.
…
My steps are wooden and choppy as I head back down the hall toward Josie’s kitchen, her and Norah’s voices echoing softly toward me.
They bicker and laugh like only siblings can, and I take comfort in the warmth of familiarity. Bennett and I have always been loving enemies—the type of family that fights one minute and defends to the death the next—and Josie and Norah are much the same way.
Both of their heads come up as I round the corner, and my words catch in my chest.
“Well?” Norah asks gently, glancing back to Josie before settling on me once and for all.
It’s all I can do to say the words. “I’m pregnant.”
“Oh, Breezy,” Norah whispers, joy and compassion and shock all wrapped up in the prettiest of sisterly bows. She’s so good for Bennett, but she’s good for me too. She’s good for all of us. Her softness, her understanding—they’re impossible to recreate. And goodness, I sure need them now more than ever.
Josie jumps up and pulls out a chair for me, and I plop into it unceremoniously, sinking my face into my hands. “What the fuck am I going to do?”
Norah’s voice is gentle. “What do you mean, honey?”
“I meannn…I’m pregnant. I’m basically living at your house because New York doesn’t feel like home anymore. I’m career-less. I’m without drive or direction or a plan or…anything. I don’t recognize myself most days, let alone what I’m supposed to be as a mother. I don’t—”
“Breezy, come on,” Josie cuts in before I can completely spiral. “Sure, this is unexpected, but you’ve been kicking ass and taking names for as long as I’ve known you. You can handle anything—you’ve handled anything that’s ever been thrown at you. If you want a plan, you’ll come up with a plan. And if you want help, we’ll help you.”
“I don’t know what I want,” I admit. “I feel like, lately, I don’t know anything.”
“Maybe you needed this slow-down,” Norah suggests, a tender hand rubbing at my shoulder. “Maybe…not having a plan or a direction or a job or drive…maybe that’s what you needed. You know?”
I scoff. “Yeah. And it got me pregnant with a freaking sheep farmer’s baby.”
“What?” Josie shrieks. “Farmer Tad? Hot-to-trot freaking Farmer-ass Tad is the father?”
I laugh, but it doesn’t feel all that humorous. I shrug. I sigh. “He’s… Well, he’s been great. And we were just…having some fun,” I skirt around the truth of how much time I’ve been spending with Tad and how intense at times it’s been between us.
Truthfully, fun has always been a part of it, but there’s been something more intense there. Something that’s far more intimate than two people just hooking up for funsies. Something that’s been making you feel things. Deep, deep things.
Josie and Norah watch me closely, and I’m sure it has everything to do with the nosedive my mood is taking. Or the fact that tears are threatening to flood my eyes again.
I sniffle, swallow hard, and keep the emotion at bay. “I fear that the news of a baby is going to go over about like a bag of rocks.”
How am I supposed to tell Tad that I’m pregnant? A baby isn’t exactly within the realm of casual we had originally agreed to.