Total pages in book: 35
Estimated words: 32717 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 164(@200wpm)___ 131(@250wpm)___ 109(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 32717 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 164(@200wpm)___ 131(@250wpm)___ 109(@300wpm)
“Nellie Bellie, when are you getting here? You know I can’t resist a sweet treat like ice cream cake.” Nellie’s eyes light up. She’s had the same dessert for two years in a row now, asked for it this year, too, the one thing we would never do is tell her no on her birthday.
“You got it!” She wiggles in the chair, hands going up in the air, and I’m more than ready to save the day if she so much as teeters off the edge. My girl can be kind of clumsy when it comes to dancing, especially when there are circles involved.
“Of course, we did, so how about you hurry up and get your cute self over here so we can chow down?” It’s nearly noon. I’m surprised Kara has held back this long.
“We’re about to leave now. Except we have to stop and visit Mommy.” I clock it the moment it happens: her voice quivers, she blinks rapidly, and her breathing intensifies. The promise I kept the night Brooke’s life ended and Nellie’s began is eating at my little girl. We talk about her mom, and there’s even a photo of her on Nellie’s nightstand, but the older she becomes, the more she feels like she's not a part of it. Her feelings intensify, and not for the first time, I am second-guessing taking her to the place where her mom is laid to rest.
“Yeah, I know Nellie Bellie. I went by earlier today myself. The flowers Mimi and Poppy put out are beautiful, and there was even a butterfly floating around.” That turns Nellie’s frown into a smile. Butterflies were Brooke’s favorite and are now our daughter's. I’m pretty sure she knows every species known to man. The second favorite on her list is rolly pollies. Anytime she finds the crustaceans, they provide endless hours of entertainment. Nellie watches them, holds them in her hand, and the only time her tablet is near is when one of us is suckered into retrieving it for her to take as many pictures as possible.
“Really? Think they’ll be there when we go?” Nellie slides off the chair, carrying my phone with her through the apartment. I’ve thought about relocating us to a house near my parents’ place, then thought better of it. I can walk Nellie to school from here. If I have to work late, it’s easier on her to be in her own bed than to shuffle her from my parents’ or my sister’s place.
“I hope they are. You can tell me all about it when you finally get to Mimi and Poppy’s.” I don’t hear the rest of their conversation when Nellie disappears into her bedroom. Since she’s abandoned ship, I take the opportunity to pick up after our nail session, noticing my own nails have more polish on my skin than the nails themselves.
I clean up the kitchen from breakfast, load the dishwasher, wipe down the counter, then make a cup of coffee to take with me. The weather is still on the colder side with a fuck ton of humidity. Which reminds me to make Nellie some hot chocolate to warm her up after we visit with Brooke.
“Come on, Daddy, it’s time to hit the road.” Nellie comes back as I’m pouring the contents into a to-go cup for her and a coffee mug for myself. She’s in a puffy jacket that’s fur-lined along the hood, a sweater peeping through from her haphazardly zipping the material up, jeans that have Kara written all over them, bedazzled and embroidered with flowers, and then there are her boots: hot pink, sparkly, and worn in more ways than one. She has a new pair to open up today.
“Lead the way, birthday girl.” I grab the two cups while she spins on her heel, hair whirling around, and we head for the door, even with the sinking feeling in my gut that today, both of us might end in tears of some sort. Nellie because her mom is gone, and it doesn’t matter how you slice it, it’s hard being raised by a single dad, even with family. Seeing my little girl upset tears me up something deep, and there’s not a single fucking thing I can do to keep the pain at bay.
2
Colt
“Brr, it’s cold,” Nellie says when I help her out of the back passenger seat of the truck. She’s still in a booster, tiny in size, after the hell I’ve been through, along with my sister, I’d rather be safe than fucking sorry.
“You want me to grab the blanket?” She’s got a whole setup in the back seat, including a lap desk situation where she can color. There are two cubbies, one to hold her colored pencils and another for her drink. Mom and Kara found it on one of their shopping excursions when they took Nellie with them, after realizing she needed something to keep her occupied. The tablet doesn’t cut it, especially since my daughter conveniently forgets to charge the dang thing. Still, even when it is, she’s hardly on it and prefers to color, do a word search, or talk about what’s going on around them. Specifically, the make and models of vehicles. Dad and I get a kick out of it, but the other women in the family don’t.