Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 105144 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 526(@200wpm)___ 421(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105144 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 526(@200wpm)___ 421(@250wpm)___ 350(@300wpm)
A black Ford F150 parked in its usual spot makes my heart skip a beat. Because I know who that truck belongs to: Ryder. I lean up a little closer to the window and see him. He’s standing next to the truck, talking to another hunter. He looks up and our eyes lock.
I saw him…and he most definitely saw me, too.
CHAPTER 31
Driving past the Zodiac was a stupid idea, and if there’s anything I can fairly criticize about myself, it’s that I don’t think things like this through. I hoped to see my family, but if I did, then what? I hadn’t played that tape all the way, and now I’m sitting here, across from my husband, thinking about a man who broke my heart into a million little pieces and just walked away, telling me that I’d be fine.
Yet seeing him in the parking lot hit me in a different way that it had before. I didn’t feel the same longing for Ryder, didn’t feel the abandonment wound triggered as much as it had been before. This time, I felt a deep sadness inside me, but it was for me.
For what I put up with.
I hate that I thought all I deserved was a love where I was kept a secret. It never felt good knowing that he lied to his parents anytime they asked where he was. He couldn’t tell them he was with me. We always ran the risk of being seen together, and even though he told me he would proudly hold my hand and confess the truth, there was part of me that wondered if he’d duck away.
And that fucking hurt. No one wants to be kept a secret like that. It made me feel like the other woman in some ways, though he told me I was the only one. It’s embarrassing in some ways to think back on it now. I was fully in love with a man who was too scared to stand up for true love. He had my heart in his hands and he didn’t have the balls to hold onto it. The second things got hard, he dropped it, shattering my heart into tiny pieces. With blood still fresh on his hands, he shrunk to the shadows, desperately seeking approval from his father. The truth is, no matter what he did, his father wouldn’t have approved anyway.
“Are you all right?” Xavier asks. We’re seated at our table and a bowl of fresh chips has been put in front of me yet I haven’t eaten a single one.
“Yeah. Being here brings up memories.”
“Good and bad?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” I tell him honestly. “It’s a mind fuck to look back at my life knowing what I know now.”
“I’ve dealt with the Order for several centuries now,” he starts. “They’re quick to label anyone they fear as sub-human, but they’re lacking in humanity themselves.”
“Yeah.” I pick up a chip and dip it in salsa. “I’ve always questioned them, and my brother, Leo, has too. We were met with much resistance. It’s like a sin to challenge the Order. They’ve made us depend on them.”
“Of course. You don’t need them to kill demons.” He looks at me thoughtfully. “Would it make you happy to go hunt demons?”
“Yeah,” I say without having to put much thought into it. “It, uh, gives me purpose.”
He just nods and I eat a couple chips. “So, you don’t own a house in Paris, but you do have property all over the place, right?”
“I do. Real estate is a good business to be in when you can buy a property and sell it a century later.”
I laugh and get another chip, trying so freaking hard to look casual. “Yeah, that’s one way to make a huge profit. Mabel brought up a house in Long Island.”
“The Windermere House.”
“Sounds fancy.”
“It is. Which is why Mabel likes it.”
“Makes sense,” I say and shove the chip into my mouth, watching Xavier as I chew. “Can I see it?”
“I suppose I can make an arrangement to go in the near future.”
“Who lives there now?” I ask.
“Family.”
“Vampire family?” I raise my eyebrows and lean back. “I’m just going to say it. This whole keeping your biological line going…it’s little much.”
“Opposed to what, just turning anyone into a vampire? Whoever I turn to has the potential to be here for the end of time.”
“That is one hell of a commitment.”
Xavier grins. “So you see why I would be picky.”
The waitress comes over to take my order and her gaze lingers on me. She has to recognize me; I’ve been in here dozens of times with the Russos. She’s human, and she’s looking at Xavier a little nervously. It’s not obvious to most people that a vampire is, well, a vampire. They can’t sense the energy I can and even experienced hunters can be thrown for a loop.