Total pages in book: 66
Estimated words: 60848 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60848 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 304(@200wpm)___ 243(@250wpm)___ 203(@300wpm)
“I waited too long,” she countered.
I shook my head. “Leaving an abuser isn’t simple. You know that. You left when you could. When you had to.”
“But at what cost?” Her eyes glistened with unshed tears. “They’re so damaged, Tiny. Zelda doesn’t let anyone near her. Kira barely spoke before we got here. They jump at shadows. They’ve seen and heard things no child should.” She pressed her palms against her eyes. “And now I’m what? Dragging them into a world of outlaw bikers and ex-cons? What kind of mother does that make me?” I sat very still, absorbing her words. She’d put voice to the exact fears that had been plaguing me since our kiss yesterday. Since I’d started feeling things for her I had no right to feel. Hearing her mirror my own thoughts still hit me like a dick punch.
“Andy said something to me yesterday,” I said carefully. “About how a judge would see you associating with people like me. People with records.” I let out a slow breath. “He’s not wrong.”
Penny dropped her hands, looking at me with sudden intensity. “Don’t.”
I shook my head, slow and deliberate. This time, I reached out for her hand. She didn’t hesitate. She turned her palm up, curled her fingers tight and locked them around mine. “Haven works closely with a lawyer named Lana Thompson. Lana probably has more pull with family court than any other attorney in the system here. Not because she’s on the take or anything. She’s a by-the-book kind of lawyer. She’s smart, she’s more than a little bit devious, but she has earned the respect of every family court judge in the county. Ms. Thompson knows the guys in the club. She uses us to help support children who are testifying against their abusers. She knows we are the best protection the three of you could have. Judge Whitmore does too. She and Ms. Thompson sometimes work together when they need to remove a child from a home. Judge Whitmore has an uncanny ability to cut through red tape in the legal system when she needs to.” I took a breath, looking into her eyes and holding her gaze. “So, yes. There is always a chance being near me could hurt you. What I’m asking…” I deliberately paused, needing her to understand I meant every Goddamned word I said. “What I’m asking is for you to trust me. I know it’s a lot, but I’m still asking.”
Penny studied me for a long moment, her gaze studying me intently. “Do you know what Zelda said to me last night? When we thought Andy might come back?”
I shook my head.
“She said ‘Tiny won’t let him in. Tiny promised.’ My daughter who trusts no one, who questions everything… She believes in you.” The knowledge hit me like a physical blow. I thought of Zelda’s fierce protectiveness of her sister, her suspicious nature, her careful distance from everyone -- especially men. The thought that she trusted me enough to believe I’d keep my word. “And Kira,” Penny continued. “You saw how she gave you Mr. Hoppers. That rabbit is her most precious possession. Her only comfort through years of fear. And she handed him to you without hesitation.”
I remembered the weight of that threadbare toy in my hands, the solemn trust in Kira’s eyes as she placed it there. “They’re good kids,” I said roughly.
“They see something in you,” Penny said. “Something real. Something I see too.” She leaned forward in her chair. “I’ve spent years being afraid, Tiny. Years looking over my shoulder, anticipating the next blow, the next insult, the next threat. I don’t want to live like that anymore. And neither do my girls.”
I wanted to believe her. God, how I wanted to. But doubt still gnawed at me. “I’m not exactly father material,” I said. “Never thought I would be. After Julie… after prison… figured that part of life wasn’t for me.”
“I’m not asking you to be their father,” Penny said. “They had one of those. He was a monster.” She shook her head. “If you don’t want us, if you don’t want me, that’s one thing. But please don’t decide for us what’s best. We’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime.”
I looked across the room at the twins, at Kira’s small smile as she concentrated on the game, at Zelda finally acting more like the kid she was. Then back at Penny, with her stubborn chin and eyes that had seen too much pain. They deserved better than what life had dealt them so far. Better than Andy. Better than me. But sitting there, watching Penny’s quiet courage, I knew I couldn’t walk away. Not unless she told me to.
We sat in silence for a moment. I watched Penny’s face, trying to read what was happening behind those guarded eyes. Her thumb brushed over my hand absently and the contact sent a jolt through me, unexpected and electric. I stared at our joined hands, her delicate fingers against my scarred knuckles, the contrast striking.