This Will Hurt (This Will Hurt #1) Read Online Cara Dee

Categories Genre: Angst, Contemporary, M-M Romance Tags Authors: Series: This Will Hurt Series by Cara Dee
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Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 70485 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 352(@200wpm)___ 282(@250wpm)___ 235(@300wpm)
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Always a class act.

But the mating for life didn’t include Roe and me, did it? Well, as friends. Nothing else.

“All fantastic sights—and obviously we’re not doing any of them,” Roe chuckled, facing the camera once more. “In this episode, Jake and I are hiking down a lesser-known canyon to spend the night in an actual ghost town.”

“The way you say actual makes me worried you think there will be actual ghosts,” I told him.

“No!” he laughed and shoved at me. I smirked. “But we have so many ghost towns in this country that’ve turned into tourist attractions—and this is one of those that hasn’t. It’s actually a ghost town. Completely abandoned.”

Just friends and business partners. We had many adventures ahead of us. As friends and business partners.

I looked up as the sun poked through the clouds.

“Anyway.” Roe smirked at me. “You’re Off Topic with Roe Finlay and Jake Denver. I’m Roe, and Jake recently started a fun family tradition for us. As mentioned, we’re absolute shit in the kitchen, so we tend to eat out a lot. And when we have Jake’s son with us every other week, we wait with bated breath for Tuesdays and Thursdays when the street we live on fills up with food trucks.”

A fun family tradition. I guessed we’d have less time for that now. When we came back from a shoot, he’d go home to his actual family. His wife and son. Maybe they would go to the food trucks together.

No, Sandra would have dinner ready, of course. She could cook.

They would start their own family traditions.

“Thank you, by the way, for…you know. I feel better.”

He didn’t need me to elaborate. He glanced up at the Lights again. “Don’t get uncomfortable now, Jake, but I love you. You’re my brother. I’m glad I was there. And I’m sorry you had to go through something like that growing up.”

He’d told me I could call whenever. Just a few weeks ago, when he’d said he was moving out after the wedding, he’d said I could call whenever, and it’d felt like a slap in the face. Me? Calling him? No, I wanted to spend every fucking minute with him. He was the guy I never called, because he was right next to me. He’d caught my panic in Norway. He’d been there for every drunken ramble. He’d made me open up. We’d nursed each other’s flus and man colds.

“Can I get you anythin’ else?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He coughed into his fist and reached for his pizza. “Keep me company. We’ll put on a movie or something.”

We could do that. I excused myself to get the rest of the pizza from the kitchen—and a Coke—and I made a quick detour to my own room to change from my jeans into basketball shorts. I would just gonna sit on the couch in the living room by myself otherwise, so this worked for me.

Roe made room for me on his bed and turned on the TV. “Have you decided what you wanna do for your thirtieth? I still vote for Vegas, you know.”

Then there was Vegas.

Just friends?

I clenched my jaw and swallowed the emotions threatening to take over.

“Jake—there you are.”

I looked over my shoulder and spotted Nikki coming out.

“Where’s Colin?” I asked.

“Kidnapped by Roe’s sister.” She smiled and slipped her hand into mine.

I gave it a squeeze and managed to smile back, if only a little. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before—you look beautiful.”

Her gaze softened, and she sighed. “You look downright depressed, honey.”

Shit. What little energy I had left just drained out of me, and I cursed myself to the fiery pits of hell for cracking. I blinked past the sudden sting in my eyes, and every motherfucking fiber of me screamed for help. Help me. I couldn’t do this anymore. I needed help. Thirty years of confusion, suppressed memories, overwhelming feelings, and denial had caught up with me.

“Talk to me, Jake,” Nikki pleaded.

I sniffled and cleared my throat. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I couldn’t lose it here. Not now. I had to hold it together until tonight, at least.

“I think—I think I need to talk to someone.” I quickly brushed at my cheek when a tear rolled down. My chest seized up painfully, and I sniffled again. Oh God, not now. Not now. “A professional, I mean.”

“Okay. Okay—I’ll help you. We’ll find you someone, okay? I’m with you, Jake.”

When she snuck closer and hugged me, my last resolve almost shattered completely.

“You have my support. If you genuinely want me to give her a shot, I will.”

He smiled unsurely and squeezed my arm.

If I’d been anybody else right now, he would’ve hugged me. That was just Roe. The hugger, the affectionate guy. But because I was me, aloof and generally uncomfortable, he didn’t.

Except, now I really fucking needed it.


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