Total pages in book: 254
Estimated words: 240032 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1200(@200wpm)___ 960(@250wpm)___ 800(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 240032 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1200(@200wpm)___ 960(@250wpm)___ 800(@300wpm)
Until, “How’s that?”
I couldn’t hear anger… or disgust… or anything that would’ve inspired me to risk looking at him.
What if he seemed disgusted? Or afraid? Or some other emotion I wouldn’t be able to forget?
“I think”—saying that I was sure made it feel too real even to me—“one of my parents is some kind of death god,” I blurted out for the first time in my life. It wasn’t a relief to announce it exactly, but I still had to fight the urge to peek through my fingers when he didn’t respond immediately.
There was a long moment of silence. The breath he let out was loud. “A death god?” was what he chose to repeat in a nearly emotionless voice.
I nodded, still refusing to open my eyes. It was easier this way, not knowing how he felt, and for the first time since moving here, I was grateful not to have a werewolf’s nose. “I realized it right after my magic manifested itself. I hugged my dad and let my magic go a little, and I saw… I don’t know how it works, but I… I told Dom that life looks like a flame. Like this light that I can see with my magic, and I can pinch it off if I try hard enough.” That made me drop my hands and lift my head. “Not that I have! Not all the way, but….”
Henri had uncrossed his arms at some point. His face was clear and open, so carefully neutral. His muscles weren’t bulging. He wasn’t sweating or pale.
Was that a good thing?
I leaned back and hugged my arms tighter around myself. “But I can. I know what it means if I do it; I can feel it. I saw what it meant when I did it to those men, and I didn’t go to ten even though I had sort of wanted to. But I always… knew, Fluff. Henri. My parents and I talked about it, and they both agreed. Doing it feels wrong, but I can, if I have to.” Easily.
Shaking my foot beneath the table, I watched him stand there, the Great Wolf heir, the leader of this community, as I kept talking. “I showed that to Dominic, a little bit. I know I shouldn’t have. I know I was picking on him, the same way he bullies everyone, but you know how people like that are. They think they’re tougher than everyone else. They think no one would ever stand up to them, and I’m sick of it, and I’ve only been here a couple of months. Now I’m worried I might have made things worse. I should’ve told you before anyone, but….”
Henri’s nod was slow. Too slow? Was he disappointed in me?
Please no.
Planting my elbows back on the table, I cupped both sides of my neck. I shouldn’t care so much what anyone thought about me. I couldn’t help myself though. He was the one person at the top of the list that I didn’t want to run off. I wanted Henri to like me. To keep liking me. Even the parts I kept hidden from just about everyone.
And I felt that reflected on my face—fear, hope, earnestness—as I caught his attention and held on. “I’m sorry, Fluff. I shouldn’t have taken it that far. But that’s why I scare people off. They can sense that there’s something wrong in me.”
Henri’s whole body jerked, and his voice came out harsher than I’d ever heard it, a scowl storming over his mouth and eyes and his whole body. He even took a step forward. His tone was sharp. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Nina.”
My lips parted, my heart was touched, but… realistic. Maybe I tried to sometimes live in a fantasy world where I hoped for the best, but I could be real too. I could. “You said it: I scared a child-eating crone.” My voice cracked just a little. “Spencer hates me.”
“Spencer hates everyone,” he snapped almost as ferociously as he had a second ago.
I shook my head. “I’ve had holy water thrown on me, Fluff. Henri. I’m not under any delusions—”
If I thought he’d been mad before, I would’ve sworn death rolled over his face right then. Tight skin over striking bone structure, eyes narrowed, neck muscles tense. “Who…?” His nostrils flared. “Who did that to you?”
“It’s fine.” I waved him off. “Some lady. But that’s why I stayed away from other beings for so long. Because I don’t know how they’ll react, and I can’t be mad at them for being scared. I don’t even use my magic anymore to look at people’s flames unless I have to. I can see when people are really sick—terminally ill—and it’s terrible. The coloring changes, the flames get so weak…. It all seems like an intrusion to me now. It feels so personal to see it. To know that kind of thing. Maybe I’m a coward, and maybe one day I’ll change my mind, but I don’t want to know when someone is dying.” My face went hot at admitting this to him, at giving him every reason to shun me, too, like so many others had. Even my eyes started to sting a little, as I thought about the fear I’d witnessed from all those people before. As I thought about how sad it had made me to know someone was coming to the end of their life. “I don’t want to hurt anyone.”