Total pages in book: 82
Estimated words: 79336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 79336 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 397(@200wpm)___ 317(@250wpm)___ 264(@300wpm)
I couldn’t sleep because I dreamed about his snapping bones and his agonizing screams. It played over and over in my head, jerking me awake and reminding me it wasn’t a dream . . . but a memory.
Someone knocked on the door, and I didn’t flinch from where I sat on the couch. Just stared at the wall like I hadn’t heard it. I hadn’t ordered anything.
The knock sounded again. “Con, open up.”
It was Tommaso. “It’s open . . . I think.”
He let himself inside the apartment, moved past the entryway, and joined me in the living room. He stood there and stared at me.
I showered sporadically, changed my clothes every few days, but I was cloaked in a depression so thick it felt like I was being choked every single day.
He examined me for a while before he took a seat in the armchair. “I won’t bother asking how you’re doing. It’s pretty fucking clear.”
My chest hurt with every breath I took.
“Have you told your family?”
All I could muster was a shake of my head.
He nodded in understanding. “You knew what Edric did. You lied to me.”
“Yeah.” I didn’t care if he shot me in the head. Death would be a blessing. Living with this memory would be the curse.
“We all could have died.”
“Yeah.”
“You aren’t even going to apologize?”
“No. At the time, all I cared about was saving my brother. So, no, I’m not fucking sorry. If you’re going to kill me, just fucking kill me already.”
He propped his arm on the armrest, his closed knuckles against his cheek.
We sat there in silence for a while.
“Look, I’m sorry this happened, but it’s not your fault, Constantine.”
My eyes shifted to the floor, the joints in my shoulders creaking from the weight of my guilt.
“I know you’re used to cleaning up his messes, but you need to learn his messes are not your responsibility. He made the decision to join the Skull Kings when I advised him not to, and then he made the idiotic decision to fuck Darius’s wife when there are plenty of brothels he could have visited instead.”
“You’re saying he deserved that?” I asked incredulously. “Who the fuck deserves that, Tommaso?”
“If someone fucked my wife, I’d do the same.”
“No, you wouldn’t,” I snapped. “Maybe you’d shoot them—”
“That motherfucker would be dead, Constantine. And you’re blinded by your familial love from seeing what’s right in front of you. There are men in this world who make it no matter what’s thrown their way—people like you. And there are people who are born a fuckup and will die a fuckup—and that’s your brother.”
“Fuck you.”
“You know it’s true. Even if the Skull King let him go, he’d get into some new trouble six months later. Always something. One idiotic decision after another—in perpetuity. And you need to understand that it’s not your responsibility to fix that—to fix him. You were nice enough to forgive him for what he did to your fiancée. I certainly wouldn’t have done that.”
It didn’t matter if everything Tommaso said was true. Edric was still my brother. The only person in the world who was more like me than anyone else. Losing a twin was more than losing a brother. It was losing yourself.
“I’m sorry to watch you go through this. You know I love you like a son, Constantine.”
My eyes stayed on the floor, too numb to accept any kind of love right now.
“You always covered for him, always stuck out your neck for him, and he just held you back.”
My eyes started to smart with tears. “That’s not true.”
“He was a fucking burden that you carried your whole life. You told me, when you were growing up, whenever he had a presentation in school, you pretended to be each other so you could do his presentation as well as yours. When he got into trouble too many times with your parents, you took the fall to lighten the load. You were a good brother to him, Con. You tried to save him, but there was nothing you could do. Forgive yourself. Relieve yourself of this burden.”
I blinked, and two tears ran down my cheeks. I didn’t care if he saw. “I have to get his body back.”
“Con . . .”
“I can’t leave him there. I need to bury him.”
He gave an irritated sigh. “As shitty as Edric was, he wouldn’t have wanted you to risk your neck a second time for him. He’s done. He’s dead. Let it lie.”
“What am I supposed to tell my mom?” I straightened and looked him dead in the eye. “I need to bring him home.”
“You’re going to get shot in the fucking head, Con.”
“So fucking be it.” Angry tears burned the corners of my eyes.
He released a sigh as he dragged his hands down his face. “It doesn’t change anything—”