Total pages in book: 85
Estimated words: 84952 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 425(@200wpm)___ 340(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84952 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 425(@200wpm)___ 340(@250wpm)___ 283(@300wpm)
“Happy New Year, Aunt Siggy.”
She tosses me a wink and moves to a circle of her friends.
I stand in place with the knot that’s twisting so tight in my stomach that it pains me to breathe. Something is wrong. I know it.
Tears prickle the corners of my eyes as I replay the emotion in his from just a few minutes ago. Was it fear? Anger? Sadness? I don’t know.
And that kills me.
I slip through the house, looking for him. I avoid every set of eyes and every attempt at conversation. Once I’m sure he’s not inside, I walk to the front porch.
The lawn is dark unless you’re under the twinkling lights, so if he’s out there, I’ll never find him.
I venture down the tunnel. When I come to the other end, I see him sitting inside his car.
The engine is off, and the heat from his breath has fogged up the windows a little bit. His head hangs, and I wonder if he’s texting someone or just dazing off.
He doesn’t look up as I walk toward him. He doesn’t look up at all until I lift my door handle. His head jerks up, and he looks surprised to see me.
“Hey,” I say, climbing inside. The air is cold, and I shiver. “Are you okay?”
The happiness in his eyes from earlier is gone. It’s replaced with a heavy dose of dark and hard and desolate.
I don’t know how he carries all of that around.
My heart breaks for the beautiful man in front of me.
“I’m not feeling great. I think that shrimp didn’t sit well with me,” he says. “I can leave my car here, and I’ll call an Uber.”
“What?”
“I want to go, but I know that you—”
“Hey.” I touch him on his arm. His gaze falls to my hand. “If you’re leaving, I’m leaving.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
I smile softly. “I know. But we came together, and we leave together. Besides,” I say, trying to make him laugh, “having you in the car to myself is my favorite time to interrogate you.”
He almost grins. “You’re a pain in the ass.”
“I know.” I wink at him. “Let’s go.”
I reach back and grab my seat belt.
“Don’t you need to go in and tell them goodbye?” He looks toward the house. “They’ll miss you.”
“They can text me.” I lean across the console and press a kiss on his cheek. “Now get this car started because I’m freezing.”
Relief washes across his face, and he starts the car. We head home in silence. I don’t think I’ll be seeing the light in his eyes anytime soon. Something just switched off.
But what?
Twenty-Two
Hollis
I should’ve stayed with her.
I sit in the chair in the corner of my hotel room, still dressed in the clothes I wore to Siggy’s house. I don’t think I’ve moved a muscle.
The sun came up a few hours ago. Even the sunrise was disappointing. It’s like it was prepping me that the new year will suck and not to get my hopes up.
Not to be wishing on any fucking stars.
I wipe my hand down my face.
For a moment, I almost bought into it. There was a period of time last night when things felt different. Like maybe River and Larissa were right, and a guy like me could manage to have people in his life and create something that rose from the bullshit and … wasn’t terrible.
That was my mistake.
“Thanks for the reminder, Mom,” I spit out as I press down on my right shoulder until it pops back into place. “Thanks for reminding me of who I am before I pull someone else into our curse.”
The feelings inside me that the stupid song rustled up are ones I’ve avoided nearly my entire life. But now they’re here, on the surface, and they’re fucking with me at a time in my life when things were finally starting to turn around.
Or I convinced myself they were.
It just goes to show that maybe they aren’t supposed to turn around for me.
All of that nonsense River was saying is a bunch of hocus-pocus, something some quack doctor spewed into an audiobook to get rich. It’s not real.
I put my head in my hands. My temples throb.
You did a really good job at faking your relationship with her. That’s why she bought into it. She told you herself that she always falls for the wrong guys. You are her type—the type that doesn’t work out.
My breath is shaky.
It wouldn’t have lasted anyway.
How could it?
You had to save her from her own undoing.
I force a swallow.
Her perfume is still on my shirt. It’s the only reason I haven’t taken it off. Every time I’ve started to, my heart lodges in my throat, and my hands fall to my side.
If I have to give myself a break somewhere, it’s going to be here. The scent will fade away at some point, so I might as well soak it in while it still exists.