Total pages in book: 160
Estimated words: 164263 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 821(@200wpm)___ 657(@250wpm)___ 548(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 164263 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 821(@200wpm)___ 657(@250wpm)___ 548(@300wpm)
“I’m doing my own hair and makeup from now on.”
“Okay.” He smiles down at me. “Why did you even get them to do it in the first place?”
“Laurent told me to.”
“Well, Laurent is used to dealing with nightmares who need glamming up.” He kisses me again. “You can’t enhance perfection.”
“You’re so biased.” I smile up at him and slide my hands under his black suit jacket. “Luckily for me.”
“Let’s have a glass of wine and then get going.”
“Okay, I need some Dutch courage.”
“Are you nervous?” He frowns.
“I guess.”
“Why?”
“Well.” I shrug. “It’s my first time out with you as a….”
“Girlfriend?” He picks up my hand and kisses my fingertips.
“At all,” I reply. “We haven’t done anything in public and now I’m coming out of the closet as a girlfriend.”
“Out of the closet?” He chuckles. “You sure do have a way with words, my love.” His eyes glow with tenderness. “You don’t need to worry about tonight. Nobody that I know personally will be there. It’s a work function only, one of my board members asked me to go and in good faith I wanted to be there for him.”
“So no…” I widen my eyes, “…women from the past?”
“No.”
I smile, feeling a little bit better. “What about the party tomorrow night at the prince’s house?”
“Prepare yourself for that one, straight into the fire.” He fills our champagne glasses and passes me one. “Your initiation into Monaco.” He clinks his glass with mine and winks. “It will be fun.”
I fake a smile as dread fills me.
Great….
Chatter, laughter, and a grand soiree.
Edward’s having a great time and me…. Well, I’m standing beside him as he does.
I smile on cue as he chats and laughs, I’m physically by his side but not mentally here.
Not one person has spoken to me all night.
Not one.
I’m the handbag, here for show.
And it’s not his fault, he’s holding my hand and introducing me to everyone and trying his best to include me. But after the introduction, the conversation goes straight to him and work subjects that I know nothing about.
As the hours tick over I have this sinking feeling about the party tomorrow.
How the hell am I going to get through a night with all his exes in the same room, at the same party? Him knowing everyone and me knowing not a soul.
And I don’t want to be that girlfriend that demands he stand beside me all night; I want him to have fun and see his friends and talk and socialize.
But what do I do while he does that?
Do I just stand there awkwardly like I am tonight…. Hoping and praying that we can go home soon?
Fuck….
The people he is talking to finally leave us alone.
“You alright?” he asks softly.
“Yep.” I force a smile, an abysmal lie but whatever.
“Are you having fun?”
“Uh-huh.” More than anything I know that it’s not Edward’s job to make me feel comfortable in his world. I need to work this out for myself, and I’m not going to beg him to take me home early every time we go out.
I love him, I want this to work and I need to suck it up and learn to love this life.
“Do you want to go home?” he asks softly.
“Whenever you’re ready.” I smile.
“That smile didn’t touch your eyes,” he murmurs. “Why are you lying?”
Unexpected emotion fills me and I get a lump in my throat as my eyes hold his.
Because if I tell you the truth, that I hate this world…where does that leave us?
My eyes well with tears and I drop my head to hide them.
“Doe,” he says softly. “It will be okay, sweetheart. You’ll get used to it.”
I nod. “I know.”
He puts his mouth to my ear. “I love you.”
“I know.” I blink away the tears and kiss his cheek. “I love you too.”
That’s the only reason I’m here…believe me.
He squeezes my hand in his. “Another hour and we can go.”
The car trip home is made in silence. I stare out the window into the darkness.
As if sensing my inner mental breakdown, Edward is watching his words. Or maybe he’s just second-guessing his life choices too.
I had the worst night tonight…. Like really bad.
I felt like an outsider, a spectator to a glamorous life that I don’t belong in…and Edward knows it, and there’s not a damn thing he can say to make me feel any better because this isn’t a him problem, this is a me problem that only I can fix.
The car pulls up at the marina and we climb out, he takes my hand in his and we walk up the dock with the guards trailing behind us.
I mean, what the actual hell is wrong with me?
I’m with my dream man, who lives the dream life, who is the absolute love of my life and here I am upset because I felt left out at a glamorous event.