The Big Fake Read Online Penelope Bloom

Categories Genre: Funny, Romance Tags Authors:
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Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 99356 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 497(@200wpm)___ 397(@250wpm)___ 331(@300wpm)
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A wave of dread ran through me. Neither of those names sounded good. In fact, they sounded very bad. Especially that last one.

The second host came jogging back with a big cardboard box full of inflated balloons.

“Is everybody ready to see some pumping pops!?” the host yelled. All of our coworkers cheered and roared. I was surprised by how excited everyone sounded, but then again, I guess people didn’t really expect to have any genuine fun at a work event. They also all knew me as the girl who hardly ever took risks. Watching me embarrass myself on stage was probably extra fun for them.

“Now, just to turn the tables a bit,” the host continued. “Dean is going to be the one holding the balloons, and Miss Moreno is going to be the pumping popper. Does that sound good?!”

Another round of applause greeted her.

“My lovely assistant and I will demonstrate how this is going to go.” The host walked over to the crate of balloons, picked one up, then bent over and held it between her legs so it was resting against her bottom. The other host grabbed her hips and thrust her pelvis against her, popping the balloon between them.

There was scattered laughter and more clapping.

All I felt was icy dread creeping through my veins.

“You’ll have thirty seconds to pop the entire crate of balloons. Succeed, and we go to the final game! Are you two ready?”

Dean rushed over to the crate, kneeling in a semi-athletic stance. I couldn’t help smiling a little as I shrugged and waited right behind him, like some kind of pervert on the prowl. I couldn’t believe I was going to do this at all, but doing it in front of my sister, co-workers, and bosses was a whole new level of embarrassing.

“Hump that ass!” I heard a voice yell from the crowd. It sounded suspiciously like Marley’s voice, but I couldn’t spot her in the group.

“I’ve got the time right here on my phone,” the host said. “I’ll hold it up so you can see how you’re doing. Got it?”

I nodded.

“Let’s get pumping and popping! GO!”

She tapped start on her phone and Dean had a balloon between his legs faster than I could blink. I hesitated for a split second, then bit the bullet. I grabbed his hips and thrust myself into him. The balloon popped with no resistance and I felt myself collide with his ass.

Okay, not so–

There was another balloon, and I gave another thrust.

Dean was reloading the balloons so fast I realized I needed to just keep my hands on his hips. I started thrusting into him in rhythm, barely stopping when he bent slightly to grab another and tuck it between his legs.

There was a mixture of laughter, applause, and erotic little cheers from everyone watching.

And me? I was humping Dean Slater like my life depended on it.

Pop. Pop. Pop. I wished I felt the balloons, but they were popping so easily it really just felt like I was aggressively bumping myself into Dean’s perfect ass in front of the whole freaking world.

“Oh, wow!” The host called over the noise. Ten seconds left and this little pumper is really pumping! Look at her go! I think this might not be their first time trying this!”

I felt my cheeks go bright red, but kept on pumping, because I was too competitive to lose.

With four seconds left on the clock, I popped the last balloon and collapsed over Dean’s back, breathing hard. He reached behind himself, pulling my legs up from behind the knees and stood, punching one fist victoriously in the air as he spun with me on his back. I was laughing and had to wrap my arms around his neck to keep from falling. Everybody cheering for us felt weirdly good. When he set me down, I was too in the moment to do anything but give him a victorious hug.

And then my mood dampened when I remembered the name of the last game. “Kiss ‘em Like You Mean It”.

“Wow, wow. What fun! Now this last one is simple, and the crowd is going to decide if they win. For the record, we were going to go with our backup game if the couple of friends won, but since we have ourselves a bonafide couple up here, why not? These two have just been showing us what a perfect pair they are. But what is romance without a little steam, right? The truly perfect couple really knows how to make it sizzle, and they’re going to prove they’ve got that boom factor right here for all of us. They’ve got five seconds to kiss each other and convince us they’re head over heels. If they succeed, clap like your life depends on it. If they fail, give them a friendly little ‘boo’. Shall we?”


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