Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 98524 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 493(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98524 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 493(@200wpm)___ 394(@250wpm)___ 328(@300wpm)
She stuck to her work. She knew my schedule and that I had a game to travel for, so she came to the house at six in the morning, sat in the living room while Aleesa continued sleeping, and basically ignored me as I carried my suitcase with me out of the house.
I felt like shit for what I had said to her.
The truth was, I had not liked to see my daughter hurt. No good parent wants to see that, and we always look for someone or something to blame. I did not like to know there were tears in Aleesa’s eyes that were caused by pain.
And the biggest truth? I did not like that I was not there to pick her up in that moment. I thought about that a lot—how Aleesa probably looked for me when she was hurt or scared or lonely. It caused so much guilt to eat at my heart and soul because all I ever wanted was to be there for her.
Maybe it would not have felt this bad if her mother was still in the picture. But now that my wife had passed away and it was just the two of us, that meant I was responsible for everything regarding Aleesa, including her happiness.
Our game that night was against Chicago. I did not play my best. Deke and EJ noticed, and on the flight back to Atlanta, they asked what was up. I could not tell them what was really on my mind—not because I did not trust them but because I did not think they would fully understand.
I was a full-time single father and an NBA player. Those two things simply did not mix. I knew many guys in the league who had kids, but a lot of them had wives or partners who held down their houses. Some of my teammates joked with me about how I needed to find a new woman to date that I could eventually turn into a wife, but I was not that guy.
I was not looking to fall in love again.
I could not even imagine moving on with anyone else. Who was worth trusting? Who was worth my time? And, most importantly, who would embrace Aleesa and love her like their own?
The whole idea of that seemed wrong because I had done it before. I put years into a relationship—one I never expected to be cut short. I never thought the woman I married would be taken away from me just like that.
In a snap.
A blink of the eye.
Just gone.
I was relieved to finally make it home again. It was close to two in the morning when I walked through the door. The living room was vacant, as well as the kitchen. Both were spotless.
That was one of the great things about having Octavia. She loved cleaning. My house was never out of order or filthy—not that it had been before she was hired. I had a cleaner who took care of my house.
But ever since Octavia was hired, my pantry had been organized with fancy containers and baskets, Aleesa’s toys were always put away at night, and even the throw blankets would be folded neatly and placed in their designated baskets.
Making my way upstairs, I rounded the banister and walked through the hallway, stopping at Aleesa’s door. It was cracked open, and from there I could see her night-light glowing, illuminating the pink butterflies painted on the walls.
I pushed the door open wider with my fingertips, and my heart pumped faster. An unfamiliar warmth coursed through my veins when I saw the perfect moment before me.
Aleesa was lying in her bed, but she was not alone. Octavia lay right next to her, with Aleesa settled close. Both were asleep.
Octavia had a hand wrapped around my daughter, as if she would never let her go. Seeing that made me feel even worse for what I had said the night before. She really was a good caretaker. And she really did care about my baby girl. I could tell none of this was pretend for her. It was genuine and honest.
Knowing she was probably exhausted, I walked to the side of the bed and tapped her on the shoulder. She startled awake, clinging to Aleesa, eyes wide, as if an intruder were breaking in to rob her.
I noticed she did that a lot. Startled easily. Jumped or tensed whenever I caught her off guard. Granted, many people would be startled if caught off guard, but with Octavia, there was always a hint of fear in her eyes . . . almost like she thought she was being attacked.
“It is just me,” I whispered, holding a hand up.
“Oh.” She blinked a few times. “God, you scared me.”
“I apologize.”
Her head dropped so she could look at Aleesa. Then she kissed her forehead before pulling her arm from beneath her and gently situating her on the pillows.