Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 52062 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 260(@200wpm)___ 208(@250wpm)___ 174(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 52062 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 260(@200wpm)___ 208(@250wpm)___ 174(@300wpm)
The lights flicker again, and this time they go out completely.
The darkness lasts only a heartbeat before the generator kicks in and the lights come back on, but that heartbeat is enough. That single moment of black sends me spiraling.
I can't breathe.
The room spins. My vision tunnels. The howling wind becomes the sound of metal crunching, glass shattering, my mother's scream cut short as we plunge over an embankment on the side of the road, plummeting into the darkness below.
"Holly."
Nikolai's voice cuts through the chaos in my head, but it sounds distant.
"Holly, look at me."
I can't. I'm frozen in place, my hands shaking so badly I have to press them against my thighs to try to still them. My chest heaves as I try to pull in air that won't come.
Then his hands are on my shoulders, warm and solid and real.
"Look at me, malyshka."
I force my eyes up and find his face inches from mine, those bright blue eyes locked onto me with an intensity that cuts through the panic.
"Breathe," he says, his voice low and comforting. "In through your nose. Out through your mouth. With me. Now."
He breathes in slowly, controlled, and I try to follow. Try to match the steady rhythm he's setting.
In. Out. In. Out.
"Good," he murmurs. "Again. Stay with me."
His hands slide from my shoulders to cup my face, his thumbs brushing across my cheekbones. The touch grounds me and pulls me back from the edge I was teetering on.
"You're safe," he says firmly. "You're here with me. The lodge is solid. The storm can't hurt you."
I nod, but I’m still struggling to breathe properly. Nikolai moves one hand to the back of my neck, threading his fingers through my hair.
"I've got you," he says. "I won't let anything happen to you."
The wind slams against the lodge again, and I flinch, a whimper escaping before I can stop it.
"You’re okay." His forehead presses against mine, just like last night at the piano. "I'm right here. Focus on me. On my voice. On my hands. Nothing else matters right now."
His thumb traces small circles at the nape of my neck, and slowly the vice around my chest begins to ease.
"That's it," he says softly. "Just breathe, malyshka."
"I'm sorry," I whisper, my voice breaking. "I don't… I can't…"
"Don't apologize." His hands tighten on me slightly, reassuring and calming. "Tell me what you need."
What I need is for the storm to stop. For the wind to quiet and the darkness to go away. For the memories to stop clawing their way to the surface.
But I can't say any of that. Can't explain why a simple storm turns me into this trembling, terrified mess.
Another gust. Another flicker of the lights.
And suddenly I'm sobbing.
The tears come hard and fast, ripping through me with a force that matches the storm outside. I try to hold them back but I can't.
Nikolai pulls me against his chest and wraps his arms around me, holding me so tightly I can feel his heartbeat against my cheek. It’s steady and strong and utterly calm despite the chaos raging outside.
"It's okay," he murmurs into my hair. "Let it out. I've got you."
And I do. I let it all out. The fear. The grief. The memories I've been running from for fifteen years.
"They died in a storm," I choke out between sobs. "My parents. We were going on vacation. On our way to my dad's boss's lake house. We never got to go anywhere nice. Never had the money. So this was… it was supposed to be special."
His arms tighten around me, but he doesn't interrupt. Just holds me and lets me talk.
"But there was a storm. Just like this. Wind and snow. And my dad, he was on roads he didn't know, and the car…it just…"
I break off, the words strangling in my throat. But Nikolai's hand comes up to cradle the back of my head, his fingers gentle in my hair.
"You don’t have to tell me," he says quietly.
“I want to.”
“Then take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.”
I draw in a shuddering breath and force myself to continue.
"He lost control. The wind just… it pushed us right off the road. We went over the embankment and into the trees. My parents—" My voice cracks. "They died on impact. I was trapped in the back seat. I couldn't move. Couldn't get out. And they were just… they were right there in the front seat, and I kept crying, kept begging them to wake up, but they wouldn't…"
A sob tears through me so violently my whole body shakes with it.
But Nikolai's arms are a vice around me, holding me together when I feel like I'm coming apart.
"It got dark," I whisper. "The storm kept going, and the snow kept falling, and I got so cold. I couldn't feel my hands anymore. Couldn't feel my feet. And I knew I was going to die there. That they'd find us all frozen together."