Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 88992 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88992 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 297(@300wpm)
“I’m infatuated with her,” I admit, the sound of the words coming out of my mouth echoing across the gym. “I think of her or something Audrey-adjacent at least once an hour. It’s not healthy.”
“What kind of stuff?”
“Depends. I worry about her, I daydream about her, I crave her.” I dry my head with my towel and throw it onto my bag, too. “But it’s infatuation at best. Right? You can’t fall in love with someone after knowing them for like two weeks. Maybe I love her pussy, and that’s why I dream about it, but I can’t love her.”
Hartley shrugs. “I don’t know if I agree with that but continue.”
There’s nowhere to go. That’s the end of the story.
I pack my shit, grateful for the few solitary minutes to try to sort through my thoughts in the gym. It didn’t help much, but it was better than listening to Otis scream for hot dogs.
But that’s not the real problem.
“Do you know Drew Van, the fighter?” I ask. “Came up about the same time as me.”
“I think so. Vaguely.”
“He’s one of the worst people I’ve ever met, and he hates me.” I lift a brow. “And he’s Audrey’s brother.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Yup. Oh, shit is right. But that’s not that wild of a story. So, let’s make it a story where he gets to be on the commission for license reinstatements at the same time mine needs reinstatement.”
His jaw drops.
“And then let’s pretend, just between you and me, that he calls me one day and says he knows my license is being investigated for a bunch of shit that, between us, I didn’t do—that I’d bet a million bucks he’s behind—and if I ever talk to his sister again, he’ll yank my license. And if I don’t, then he’ll make sure it’s approved.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“No.” The sharpness of my tone could cut glass. “So, what do I do, Hart? Do I tell him to fuck off and risk losing my license for good? And let’s say I don’t care about that, because I’m not sure that I do, is it worth the rift it’s going to cause between her and her family? And who knows if I’d be good for her? I’m a fuckup. We all know it.” I snort. “Hell, this is evidence of it.”
He shakes his head in disbelief as I continue to get riled up.
“Or, do I look at it as if I walk away from her, yeah, it fucking blows, but she keeps a good relationship with her family, and that’s important to her. And I’m able to continue to support Mom and me. Because if they take my license, what the hell am I doing with my life? I can’t do shit but eat pussy, and that’s illegal to charge for.”
He smacks his forehead, likely regretting answering Gray’s call.
“So, mystery solver, what in the name of fuckery do I do?”
He runs his hand down his face before he drops it back to his side. “You should have your own reality show because you can’t make this shit up.”
“I know.” I throw up my hands.
He motions for me to stop talking and takes a long breath. “All right. You’re not going to fight your whole life anyway, so let’s start with the most important element—the girl.”
“What about her?”
“Is she your girl?”
“How the hell am I supposed to know?”
He mutters something I can’t hear, which is probably all for the better. “Were you thinking of being with her before all this other shit went down?”
“Yeah.” I smile sadly. “I’ve never looked at a woman and wondered if I could see myself settling down with her before Audrey. But I just started imagining her in situations in my life like it was a given. It’s still so weird.”
Hartley gives me a knowing grin that I promptly ignore.
“But, like, is it right to even try with a girl like her? Because what are the odds that I fuck her up? Hell, she’s crying today because of who? Me.”
“No, she’s crying because her brother is a manipulative motherfucker even though she doesn’t know it.”
Fair point. But it doesn’t change anything.
“Sounds like you chose the easy route, but I don’t blame you—”
“The fuck,” I say, pissed. “What do you mean I took the easy route? That was hard as fuck.”
He looks at me like I’m a goof. “There has to be a way for you to get what you want.”
What I want? I want to fight … I think. I want to help Doc finish her whimsy list. I want to hold her for more than just another night. I want to go on more fucking road trips with her and laugh about stupid things and buy her shit and promise her there are no monsters in the darkness.
And show her I’m not one, either.