Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 56238 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 225(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56238 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 225(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
“I get that. I loved once. No need to do that again.”
I lean forward on the table, “now that’s my girl. Check the emotions at the first hello. Bang when the urge hits and go about the day or night. Keep shit simple. No complications.”
She laughs, “Raff, it’s not that simple. But I damn sure wish it was.”
“It’s only as complicated as you make it, Honey.”
She smirks, “one day a woman is gonna come along and complicate everything for you, Dean.”
I grab my heart in mock pain, “you wound me at the insinuation I can keep a broad for more than a night.”
Her eyes lock to mine, “you don’t give many a chance to see behind the Riffraff to the man who I am sure can give a woman his all.”
Two
Josie
I never imagined raising Justice alone. Yet now I never want to share him again.
* * *
“Sampson County, Josie Schneider,” I answer the phone on my desk as I drop my purse in my bottom drawer. I literally got through the door with the damn phone already ringing.
This is definitely not how I wanted to start my Monday. I haven’t even had the first sip of my coffee yet. Sometimes this is how it goes, though, and I’m not caught off guard, just annoyed.
“Hey Puppet, good to see you made it to work safely.”
At his voice, my veins run cold. This isn’t supposed to be happening.
“Brett, I really don’t have time for this.” I admit while wondering how he knows the exact moment I walked in. A chill runs up my spine because I have an idea. How much longer can I exist in this chaos with him?
Is he outside? Will he make a scene? He has made plenty of those in the past. There is no reason for him to keep popping up in my life. How can I get him to stop? This is insane. I have tried everything, and he won’t leave me alone.
“It’s good to know you’re okay, Puppet.”
“I’m fine, Brett. I told you over and over, I’m fine.”
“Over,” he laughs manically, “you love that word don’t you, Puppet.”
I take a deep breath. “Sometimes things don’t work out. We didn’t work out,” I fight back the emotions building.
The fear.
The anger.
The frustration.
The hurt.
The damage is done and there is no way to repair anything between us.
“Things can work out, but you choose not to. Give me another chance, give us another chance.”
“Brett, we have gone over this. We have tried it, and we don’t work. It’s not healthy. I need to be on my own. I am not good for you.” Yes, I feel ridiculous taking the blame, but I know better than even attempt to tell him this falls on him. Giving him the reality that he is one hundred percent a problem for me takes him to a level of violence that I can’t be sure I’ll live through again.
He laughs, “This isn’t about you, Puppet. You took my son. You took our family, and you shattered it, Puppet. You aren’t what I want alone. I want my family back, my son, my wife, and not this woman you’ve become. Why won’t you talk to me? Let me explain. I know why you left. I understand but hear me out. Really listen and give us a chance.”
Ha, I want to laugh out loud. If he really understood this conversation wouldn’t be happening. I don’t want to give another second to this man.
“Brett, I’m at work,” I counter. “I can’t do this with you.”
“Then come home so we can talk.”
Home. A single word that guts me.
In the first months of my grief of losing Jonah, that four letter word gutted me. Bringing Justice home from the hospital alone sparked a level of depression I never could have prepared for. Everywhere I turned in my home there were reminders of the plans I had with Jonah. The milestones he was missing with our son.
It prompted a change in me, becoming a mother. Not only did the need to nurture and comfort come on full force as instincts I couldn’t deny, but the power of my love for Justice conquered the loss I felt for his dad. Not that my grief lessoned, nor did the love I had for Jonah. But having Justice, I had a reason to get up and keep going. Everything I do is for my son, including getting us a new house back then.
Brett lives in the very home I bought for my son to grow up in. Another dream shattered for me. When do the losses end? I lost my husband, I lost my home, and for the life of me, I can’t seem to get a grip on the here and now much less the future.
The money from the life insurance policy and the military gratuity lump sum went towards a college fund for Justice and the house. I knew I wouldn’t have a two income home anymore, not in the way I was used to. I knew I wouldn’t have the retirement and benefits that Jonah, and I planned for. I had to be smart after losing him.