Total pages in book: 60
Estimated words: 56238 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 225(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56238 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 281(@200wpm)___ 225(@250wpm)___ 187(@300wpm)
Dean’s arm slides around my waist as he approaches pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head. “You good?”
Leaning into him, I savor the solid feel of him behind me. “Yeah, I think I’m good like never before.”
His lips brush my temple as he whispers in my ear, “take a ride with me?”
I hesitate momentarily. Before I can voice it, Dean points to where Justice stands hand in hand with Sara.
“Gonna take lil’ man inside to help me pick some tunes.” Sara explains, “this kid knows his rock.” I nod knowing she’s made sure he’s very well versed in all the classic to modern rock artists with a dash of heavy metal.
“You got him for me to maybe take a ride with Dean?” I ask her fighting back my anxiety at leaving him.
She smiles big, “you don’t even have to ask. Go on, I’ll keep him ask long as you want. Even bring him home tomorrow.”
“I don’t know about that.”
She laughs, “you’ve never felt the passion of a night ride yet. But okay, I’ll be here with him when you get back. Take your time.” She winks strolling off with Justice.
Dean smirks before taking me by the hand. Gonna take Grinder’s bike since mine are at home.”
He climbs on, I follow after getting a helmet secured. In moments we are on the open road. The bike vibrating under me and the cool night air wrapping around me, I settle my arms tightly around him.
I don’t ask where we are going. I don’t pay attention to direction, distance, or time. Instead, I embrace every sensation.
In time we head back, and he parks over at Honey’s giving us a bit of privacy before heading back to the clubhouse. I slide off, wrapping my arms around myself thinking about the beauty of the night. Sara is right there is no better feeling than a night ride.
Dean stands behind me wrapping his arms around me. “How was that?”
“Beautiful.”
“Just a moment alone here and there is nice.”
I exhale leaning into him. “Honey talked to me.”
A hum vibrates in his chest, “figured she would.”
“She said you don’t do anything halfway.” He turns me to face him, fingers under my chin tilting my head up.
“I don’t.” His thumb traces my jaw line.
I swallow hard, gripping his cut, “Dean,” it comes out in a whisper.
“Say it,” he softly speaks, “whatever is on your mind, say it.”
“I’m scared.” I exhale deeply.
His eyes soften, “of what?”
“Being lost in this, in you. Another shattered dream.”
“You won’t be lost, Jo. No more broken dreams.”
“You can’t say that. My dreams turn to nightmares, Dean. I don’t want that for us.”
He presses a soft kiss to my forehead. “It won’t. I won’t let it.”
A shiver runs through me, every wall I’ve built crumbles under his touch. He leans down, his beard brushes against my cheek then chin as he kisses me, slowly, consuming me.
For the first time in a long time, I let myself believe maybe I can dream again.
Thirteen
Raff
You Should Probably Leave – Chris Stapleton
Jo sleeps curled against me breathing soft and steady. I don’t sleep. I stare at the ceiling with my arm draped against her back tracing slow circles on her bare skin. Her words play over in my head. The pain and fear of talking about Jonah gets to me. He is Justice’s father. Gone before he ever got to hold his baby boy.
I knew about Jonah. Sara gave me a brief run down once when I asked after meeting Jo that first time. The way she hesitated to embrace our new relationship makes sense. I contributed it to Brett, but seeing her worry about my reaction to Jonah, I get it.
She is caught between two places. The life she lost and dreamt of having versus the reality of here and now. Those dreams will never come to be. She’s had to pivot and create new ones.
I don’t want her to ever feel like she needs to forget the past. Hell, if anyone had what she shared with Jonah and lost it in such a tragic way, I can’t say they would be as strong as Josie has been. I sure as shit wouldn’t be able to put my life back together.
She shifts against me mumbling into the night. I tighten my hold, pressing my lips to her hair. She relaxes and falls into a deep sleep again.
For her to care about my reaction to her connection to Jonah tells me I matter. But it also tells me I need to give her confidence in where we are together. I don’t ever want Jonah not to be part of her life or Justice’s. He can forever linger in our spaces. He just can’t come between us because I cannot compete with a ghost. No one can.
She loved him deeply. He gave her the gift of her son who is the most amazing little boy. There is respect owed to him that I will forever give him. There is nothing for me to be mad about, nothing to fix, and nothing for her to worry about. She’s here with me and that’s what matters.