Total pages in book: 90
Estimated words: 89898 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 449(@200wpm)___ 360(@250wpm)___ 300(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89898 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 449(@200wpm)___ 360(@250wpm)___ 300(@300wpm)
I laugh sadly. “How worse could it get? She’s gone.”
“Because you let her go.”
“Because I had to.”
I eye the bottle of bourbon again.
“I gotta go, Riss. Thanks for calling and checking on me.”
She sighs. “You’re welcome. Just … remember that it’s okay to be happy. It’s not a character flaw.”
“Sure. Talk to you later.”
“Goodbye.”
I end the call and pour myself another drink.
Thirty
Blaire
My apartment is so cold.
I shiver as I pull the shades down over the windows. The thermostat says that it’s not as frigid as it feels, so I wonder if the chill is somehow coming from me.
By a stroke of luck, Yancy texted me as soon as my plane landed. The Grimrose Building was open again, and I could go back home. It was like the universe took pity on my poor self and couldn’t stand to watch me struggle anymore.
My face is swollen from crying for the past three hours. As soon as I walked through the door, I started crying and couldn’t stop.
I’m sure Sienna thinks I’m a complete lunatic because she called in the middle of it. It was all I could do to reassure her that I was fine.
I just wish that I felt reassured too.
My stomach growls, but the idea of food makes me want to hurl. I want to crawl in Holt’s bed, under one of his strong arms, and listen to him tell me about his day.
I wince as the fibers in my heart rip even further apart.
“It was never meant to be,” I tell myself.
Maybe not, but it feels like it was.
No matter what affirmation or sentence of strength I say aloud, it doesn’t resonate inside my brain. My inner monologue is much different and just as insistent.
I flop down on the couch and look at my phone. He’s called me three times tonight.
I close my eyes and hear his sweet, Southern voice saying my name. His smile is imprinted in my mind for the rest of time. My skin tingles as I remember the heat of his touch.
Even if it was all in my imagination, I liked it. And I’ll treasure it for the rest of time because I’m not answering his calls. I’m not listening to his voice messages. There’s no need for him to try to explain why he doesn’t want me.
A knock raps on my door.
My heartbeat quickens as I get to my feet. I’m too nervous to ask who it is.
Before I can get across the room, I hear Sienna’s voice from the other side.
“Blaire? It’s Sienna. Open up.”
I flip the lock and open the door. My brother’s girlfriend is standing on the other side with a bag in each hand. Her eyes are filled with concern.
“Hey,” she says softly.
I try to speak but end up opening my mouth and making a sound that’s half-laugh and half-sigh.
Sienna steps into my apartment and places the bags on the floor. She then pulls me into the biggest hug.
I’m taken aback at first. Sienna and I have never hugged. But as she holds me tight and fills me with good energy, I find myself hugging her back.
Finally, she pulls away.
“It took all of this to get me an invitation to your apartment,” she jokes.
“I would’ve invited you without having to endure all of this.” I walk toward the living room. “Come on in.”
“I brought things.”
“What kind of things?” I ask, sitting on the sofa again.
She sits next to me and places the bags on the coffee table. She reaches inside and pulls out a bottle of wine, a giant bar of chocolate, and a bag of microwave popcorn.
“If I failed to be clear, this isn’t a slumber party,” I tell her, laughing. “I have to wallow tonight. I must feel to heal.”
“What the heck is that? Feel to heal.”
“It’s a thing I learned in therapy.”
She rolls her eyes. “Well, no worries about this being a slumber party. If I tried to stay here, Walker would come and get me. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he showed up anyway.”
I fall back into the pillows and fake cry. “Does he know about Holt?”
“I tried super hard not to tell him anything. I told him it was your business and your story to tell—or not. But you know how he can be.”
I stick out my bottom lip. “Is he on a plane to Savannah right now?”
“He probably would’ve been if I hadn’t taken his credit card.” She winks. “But no, really, he’s worried about you. He wants you to call him.”
“I’ll get right on that.”
She laughs. “Do you want some wine?”
“Only if you’re going to pour it.”
She looks around my apartment. “Is the kitchen through there?”
I nod, and she gets up and disappears around the corner.
My chest feels like there’s a hole where my heart used to be. It’s like someone used a spoon to scoop out my organ and throw it away.